Changing Times

It amazes me how things have changed over the years. I don’t necessarily mean that in a good way either. While we have made great technological strides, I think these forward facing technological steps have made us take several steps backwards in common decency, manners and overall common goodwill.

It is so easy for millions of people to sit behind their keyboards and judge others openly and often harshly. It is as if they have forgotten that having a filter is a good thing. Just because we have a thought doesn’t necessarily mean we should blurt it out, no matter if it is in person or typing it out. Anonymity doesn’t mean that it is ok to be hurtful. And yet people often spout off whatever they want to others.

Maybe we should take a look at how people are treating each other and realize it is not ok. We have people who are defensive most of the time these days because they have dealt with some of these internet jockeys. It is difficult to not blast these people because, frankly, they’re nothing but cyber assholes and bullies. I typically want to stand up for whoever is being bullied. Sometimes, though, that just fans the flames.

But what I wonder is why these people feel it is ok to be the cyber asshole? It is becoming commonplace. It’s spilling over into real life and people are beginning to do this face-to-face. All of this is unacceptable.

Whatever happened to the Golden Rule? Do unto others as you would have them do unto you!!!! This is a great philosophy to live by. We might have a little more peaceful and civil environment if we did this. I know that people are jerks from time to time because they are human. We don’t have to add to it because we can.

We shouldn’t be so proud to be “tell it like it is” people. That’s just another cop out to be an asshole. It is one thing to speak your mind and it is another to be a jerk doing it. You don’t have to say what you think with a close-minded tone. You can give your opinion while being civil and it is not the hardest thing in the world to do. We should try it more often.

If we put as much effort into just being civil and courteous as we do into being heard and being right, we might have a more peaceful country. We might have more understanding and free flowing conversations. I know this is a lot to ask but I really wish people would focus more on lifting each other up instead of pushing each other down.

Cleaning House In All Ways

I have thought that it is time to clean house in all ways. If I don’t want to live a chaotic life, I need to get rid of the chaos in general. That means things and people. Sometimes it is hard to do because these things and people have been part of my life for so long that they have become a part of it. But they have also created chaos and I really don’t want chaos in my life anymore. I was thinking about my life and realized if you don’t want chaos that you can’t have chaotic things in it. Chaos creators will always create chaos. It’s their nature. They can’t help it. Or they don’t want to help it.

Whatever the case, I think that to streamline my life and make it more calm that I have to start cleaning house. I am not worried about getting rid of the physical junk. It is junk. It can go. I will miss some “stuff” but I can get better stuff that serves a better purpose later. As for the people? Well, some are just on Facebook. The “unfriend” button will be helpful. Some will not even notice. Some will. I suppose if they ask I will just say that they’re no longer appropriate for my life. There are also others I can’t get out of my life but I have limited interactions with to as little as possible. I have already started that in a way. It starts making things easier.

So have you done this? How did it go?

I’m looking forward to a cleaned house and life!

Related articles

• “Chaos Theory” (iamwonderbound.com)
• Chaos (anewfreelife.wordpress.com)
• Cleaning House Creates Order (slowmoneyfarm.wordpress.com)
• Cleaning my virtual house (skinnychickblog.com)
• Chaos Theory (1minutetheory.com)
• Secret De-stressing Tip – Do a Little House Cleaning (redenvelope.com)
• The times are achangin’ (fortheloveofchaos.wordpress.com)

Is It Really Better To Have Loved And Lost? republished with some edits

I was thinking about what a friend said regarding the Shakespeare sentiment about it is better to have loved and lost than to have never loved at all. Really? I’m not so sure. I’m not saying they’re wrong and I’m not saying they’re right. I just don’t know. I sometimes subscribe to the philosophy of ignorance is bliss. No, not stupidity is bliss, although it is for some. Ignorance can be bliss, though. Sometimes it is better to not know something ever existed than to know about it and have it hurt you. Get what I am saying? Of course there is no way to undo the whole love lost notion, but it did make me question my philosophical views on that matter.

I look back on my life and wonder if I would have rather not have known certain people than to have loved them and lost them. A few I can definitively say yes! I would rather they never have entered my life than to have loved and been hurt by them. That was simple enough. But for other people it isn’t so simple. I don’t know. I can’t say whether I would rather exist without having the experience of them. Then along with that thought is the whole changing the course of life aspect. These people played an important role in my life. If they didn’t then I wouldn’t have loved them.

Maybe it is all a matter of pre-destination. I had to know them and love them for my life to be in the spot it is today. Maybe God planned it. I will admit, if that is the case, that I don’t necessarily like the plan. But then again, He never told me I would have to.

Is it better to have loved and lost than to never have loved at all? I am not sure. I have loved and lost. It wasn’t a fun ride and it kinda made me sick. Think of those amusement park rides that you thought you wanted to ride but threw up on soon after they started. That has been my love life. Do I want to go through that again? I am probably stupid to say it, but most likely. Because even though you threw up, it was fun before that point. And sometimes you wouldn’t mind getting on the ride again. Maybe this time you’ll remember not to eat all the fried food before getting on the ride that is going to spin you into oblivion.

Beauty In Pessimism

I am so grateful 2011 is almost over. This has been one of the WORST years of my life. It rates right up there with my mother dying and my divorce.

I went into 2011 with the shiny, happy hope that most do. Actually, I thought 2011 was going to be THE year! As I come close to the end I feel as if I have been run over by a semi and just for good measure they threw it in reverse. 2011, you sucked!

Now just because 2011 was rough that doesn’t mean I am anticipating sweetness and light for 2012. Nope. Learned my lesson on that.  Murphy’s Law will get ya every time. No, I am going into 2012 with no expectations and as few hopes possible. Yes, it sounds pessimistic but it is just realistic and accepting. I don’t expect anything so I am not disappointed. But I sure can be happily surprised. See? Beauty in pessimism! Genius? Possibly.

See? 2012 is all about acceptance and learning and just getting through life without collecting many more battle scars! I have enough of those for myself and a few other people. I have decided to try a no expectations approach rather than a great expectations approach. It really simplifies the whole thing when you think about it. Without worrying and stressing about what the outcome of something is then you can just “be” in the moment. Now that’s a concept, huh? Again, there is beauty in pessimism!

Profundity At Its Best

I know I usually complain about Facebook  but sometimes there are some really good things there. Today I saw a great saying on one of my friend’s wall that just made me stop for a moment and say, “Wow!” It was so simple yet so complex.

“People are often unreasonable and self-centered. Forgive them anyway.
If you are kind, people may accuse you of ulterior motives. Be kind anyway.
If you are honest, people may cheat you. Be honest anyway.
If you find happiness, people may be jealous. Be happy anyway.
The good you do today may be forgotten tomorrow. Do good anyway.
Give the world the best you have and it may never be enough. Give your best anyway.
For you see, in the end, it is between you and God. It was never between you and them anyway……”

How simple is that message? How hard is it to do? Yet I think it is something I want to really strive for. Just because someone may do me wrong or may have negative feelings towards me, that doesn’t mean that I have to let it affect me. Whatever the situation, I can only control how I act or react. I can’t change the way someone else acts or feels. It doesn’t mean that I don’t care about that other person. It just means that I can only take responsibility for myself. I think this is hard for a lot of women. We were brought up to be caregivers and sometimes has been at our own expense.

Basically everything isn’t about me but some things are. Yes, that is contradictory. But what I have to do is determine what is good and right for me and do that. If someone else has issues then I have to just  learn to let go and let God. Not easy. It’s a process.