survivingmiddleage

the ups and downs of life

Archive for the month “November, 2011”

Another Awkward Moment

Living in a small town affords many awkward moments. You just get used to them. They’re inevitable. Especially if you have lived there over 5 years. I have lived in Asheville for 14 years. That makes for many awkward moments. You get to know and like, dislike, and/or alienate many people during that time. Today was an awkward moment day.

I’ve been up MANY hours working on homework and I needed my prescriptions. I’m in my pajamas and decided to go to the pharmacy anyway. They have a drive-thru so I figured it would be no big deal. Well, it was. I pull up and just give them my name and card and expect to be handed my meds and then I would drive home. No. I couldn’t get off the hook quite so easily. At the window is an ex’s sister. I just thought, “Oh dear Lord! Why today?” He and I aren’t enemies but it is still awkward. I really don’t want his sister knowing my business, my prescriptions, etc. Ya know? So here’s how it went down.

Girl at Window:ย “Hey! Don’t you remember me?!”

Me: “Of course I do! How are you?”

Girl at Window: “I’m good! How are you?”

Me (praying this idle chit-chat would end soon): “Great! Been up all night writing a paper for school.”

Girl at Window: “Awww…You must be so tired. I just started working here a couple of months! It’s so great to see you. Have you talked to So-And-So?”

Me: “Yeah. I talked to him a few weeks ago. Well, it was great to see you, but I have to finish that paper and get some rest. I’ll see ya later!”

I drove home and immediately took something to help me go to sleep. I’m waiting on it to kick in now. I’m still shaking my head. Another awkward Amy moment.

 

I Realized I Am A Lot Like Mama

I realized today I am a lot like my Mama. That’s a good thing mostly. She was the best person I ever knew. I only ever heard her say one bad thing about a person and it was the truth. She wasn’t a saint, but she was kind-hearted and loving.

So what provoked this realization? My hair. I know that’s a weird one. It was for me, too. But I was sitting at work Last night and my hair was bothering me. It’s gotten too long and kept going under my shirt collar. I was ready to scream. I finally found a ponytail holder in my bag and pulled it back. Instant relief! That’s when it hit me. Years ago I would hear Mama talk about the same thing. I always encouraged her to grow her hair out. She would say, “I can’t, Amy! It bothers my neck.” I thought that was weird, but whatever! It was her hair. Now 15 years later I totally get it. It bothers mine, too. There’s this certain spot where when it hits that you are just ready to take the scissors and hack it off.

I smiled, though, at the thought of being like Mama. She was a good woman. I miss her daily. She passed away in 1996 and there hasn’t been a day since her death that I haven’t missed her. A thought of her can make my eyes fill with tears instantly. The picture for this post is really me with Mama when I was 3 and she was 27. So many moons ago. It’s my favorite picture of us. It summed up our relationship. I was always up to something and she just tried to ignore it. ๐Ÿ™‚ See? Mama was a good woman.

Happy Thanksgiving

Yes, I am waiting until Thanksgiving Day to post this. I don’t like when the holidays have been celebrated before they have even arrived. Just a quirk for me. Sorry. ๐Ÿ™‚

Anyway, I want to tell everyone that I hope you have a very happy Thanksgiving and will consider the meaning of the holiday. Be thankful for what you have. It’s a hard concept. Believe me! I know. As much as I long for other things in life, I am quite grateful for what I do have. I am thankful for God. He has sustained me when I was ready to fall apart and He showed me who I really am. He gave me unconditionally love. I am thankful for my two beautiful cats who make me laugh. They provide entertainment on a daily basis. I am thankful for friends and family. I may not see them often, but I do hope they realize they are cared about and I am grateful for them. I am thankful for a job that provides a roof over my head. I am thankful for that roof over my head. I am thankful for the talents God has bestowed upon me. I love writing and painting and am incredibly thankful that I possess those skills. I am thankful that the Pilgrims were brave enough to leave England and head for this great unknown land. And I am thankful the Native Americans didn’t kill them all. ๐Ÿ˜‰

There are days when I forget to be thankful and I think we all do that. Life gets in the way and I kind of let it. And while I may not have much I am very thankful for what I have.

Happy Thanksgiving, everyone!

Rain Is A Good Thing

Some people hate rain. Not me. It is a wonderful thing! It gives my brain a chance to relax. That’s rare. Seems like I always have a bazillion things swirling around in my head. I have a hard time sleeping because of that. Then there is also the maintenance guy who loves to keep me awake by slamming and banging and playing loud music outside.

Yesterday I was so happy to see the gray skies. I loved the murky clouds. It relaxed me and I finally slept. I hadn’t slept in 3 days and so it was great. The cats were happy, too. When I don’t sleep they don’t sleep. So they were quite relieved to finally rest.

So see? Rain is a good thing. It helps me rest!

Profundity At Its Best

I know I usually complain about Facebookย  but sometimes there are some really good things there. Today I saw a great saying on one of my friend’s wall that just made me stop for a moment and say, “Wow!” It was so simple yet so complex.

“People are often unreasonable and self-centered. Forgive them anyway.
If you are kind, people may accuse you of ulterior motives. Be kind anyway.
If you are honest, people may cheat you. Be honest anyway.
If you find happiness, people may be jealous. Be happy anyway.
The good you do today may be forgotten tomorrow. Do good anyway.
Give the world the best you have and it may never be enough. Give your best anyway.
For you see, in the end, it is between you and God. It was never between you and them anyway……”

How simple is that message? How hard is it to do? Yet I think it is something I want to really strive for. Just because someone may do me wrong or may have negative feelings towards me, that doesn’t mean that I have to let it affect me. Whatever the situation, I can only control how I act or react. I can’t change the way someone else acts or feels. It doesn’t mean that I don’t care about that other person. It just means that I can only take responsibility for myself. I think this is hard for a lot of women. We were brought up to be caregivers and sometimes has been at our own expense.

Basically everything isn’t about me but some things are. Yes, that is contradictory. But what I have to do is determine what is good and right for me and do that. If someone else has issues then I have to just ย learn to let go and let God. Not easy. It’s a process.

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