the ups and downs of life

Archive for the tag “living”

Live Honestly

Life is not easy and we all have our own demons. There are times when we may not want to share everything we are going through with others. That’s fine. The thing is that when you are interacting with others, you need to live honestly. That doesn’t mean you have to share every feeling you have at every moment of every day.

It would be easy if we lived our lives in a bubble and all that we felt and went through stayed within the confines of that bubble. Unfortunately, life is not that way. Because we are a society and we do interact with others, there is bleedover. This is especially true when we try to have interpersonal relationships. What is happening in your life will come through no matter how hard you try to contain it.

Living as honestly as possible can help with any negative interactions with others. If you are open and honest, you have nothing to hide. If you hide your feelings and then interact with someone, the chances of something bad happening go up exponentially. Avoiding the truth or lying will only compound any negative interaction. Silence, sullenness and defensiveness are all things that are defense mechanisms that can make a bad situation into an extremely painful and dramatic situation.

Just be honest. Don’t give pat answers. Don’t hide from what you feel. Own it. When someone else is involved in those feelings, it is always best to be as thoughtful as possible. Your feelings are impacting their life, whether it is negative or positive. They don’t deserve to be blindsided.

I have recently been in situations where people weren’t honest with me. Had the people been honest with me, I would have been able to make different choices. I don’t know that I could have protected my heart, but at least I could have dealt honestly with things that were very painful.


Fake Sun

I have lived so long without love that I never thought I would feel it again. It is somewhat like living in the dark and never seeing or feeling the sun. You get used to that darkness and the warmth and radiance of the sun is scary but also a very pleasant feeling.

For a brief time I had what I think of now as a pseudo-version of that. I suppose it was like dim flourescent lights of a tanning bed. They glowed and gave similar feelings, but they weren’t true. Then the lights died. And even though the lights died, I missed them. That light radiant glow warmed my skin and made me feel something other than darkness. It brought color back into my cheeks. My eyes sparkled.

Without the false sun, I wasn’t sure what to do. I was scared to venture into the real sun. It was bright and much shinier. It was terrifying. It didn’t feel safe.

It’s scary when you’re trying to decide whether to stay in the safety of the darkness because you know what is there. Or do you eventually make yourself see the sun? The sun is bright and scary and shows every flaw.

Happy Belated New Year!

I know we’re half-way through January. Sorry for my tardiness. I have been sick for most of the year. It made me angry that I seemed to get a flu shot for no reason. I ended up getting the flu. It knocked me out of commission for a while. I didn’t even have time to figure out what it was to try to ward it off. It was hard and fast! A medical professional I know recommended zinc so it wouldn’t be a bad idea to take some extra so you don’t get this same stuff. It was horrendous!

I have the same ol’ resolutions as always. I am still working on weight loss. I am continuing with the development of my personal education of my artistic endeavors. I am learning to let go of stress. It just makes me angry and anxious. So rather than stay stressed, I do what a good Southerner should: Let go! And let God! It’s an easier-said-than-done notion, but it is helpful. I just pray when I am stressed.

So I hope your new year is going well. Mine started out crappy but it will get better! Maybe I am over this plague and can move on!

I hate this time of year

This time of year brings up a lot of negative feelings for me. It makes me reflect on could’ve, would’ve and should’ve situations. Holiday crap is upon us. I am working to the point where that is mostly my life.

I think of making changes and then I am unsure of how. Which changes do I make? I’m scared of change. Every change I have ever made seems to have gone wrong. It’s not easy to make changes at my age.

I don’t know what the answer is. I wish I did.

Catastrophizing – How to Feel Joy Without Fear –

I have felt this way lately. Maybe you have, too.

Catastrophizing – How to Feel Joy Without Fear –


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