survivingmiddleage

the ups and downs of life

Archive for the month “January, 2013”

Almost Amish

My cord for the computer recently bit the dust. I had to order a new one, which I hope will be here in two more days. I didn’t want to pay for a shipping method that was essentially the same price as the actual cord. But I’m having withdrawals and am wondering if it might have been worth it.

I have had to change the way I do so many things and it’s made me feel almost Amish! I can’t just order a pizza online. Oh no! I have to call the place if I want a pizza. Writing this blog has been hard! I don’t know how people do it from these stupid fake keys on their smartphones. (BTW please forgive if typos. Fat thumbs and itty bitty fake keys make for nonsense at times. Maybe I shouldn’t order pizza EVER!)

I just feel so technologically lost right now. Maybe Amish people
feel like this, too? It’s supposed to be simpler but I love having answers to a gazillion questions at my fingertips easily. ::Sigh:: I want my power cord. I don’t think I could make it as an Amish chick.

Flirting?

The Flirtation

 I have gone through many phases of life. When I was younger, I was quite outgoing. I didn’t care what people thought; I just said or did it. Then I became quite self-conscious. I became more introverted. I could hide it, though. I could flirt from time to time. But I never knew when a male was interested in me. (By the way, I still don’t.) Then I hit a spell where I got a little more comfortable with myself again and honestly had a plethora of men to practice on. Some was innocent flirting and some was “let’s see what happens” flirting. It was fun and interesting. It was kind of like an experiment. If science had been like that in school, I would have LOVED it! I should have taken more psychology classes because human interaction is fascinating. Then I made some bad choices. Boy were they bad! I went back to being the natural introvert I am.So I felt the flirt come out recently. It was SHOCKING! I didn’t mean to do it. It was natural and somewhat disconcerting. I saw this man and he was funny and smart and he could talk geek to me! DING DING DING! We have a winner! Amy is now interested. And it is so funny how it happens. He says something. I say something and I laugh and before I knew it I flipped my hair. I thought to myself even as I did it, What the hell did I just do? Flipped my hair? Have I flipped my wig for real? WTH?! I kept going, though, I chatted, smiled and laughed. It was a brief moment but I do have a chance to talk to him later. Do I feel self-conscious? Do I roll with it? Did he notice? Did he care? Was his wedding band in the shop or is he REALLY single? And why do women analyze this stuff? It’s funny. I’m thinking of writing a sitcom. These are the things women do. (Men, you are getting insight into a woman’s psyche for FREE! Pay attention! And repay the kindness! Give information back!) So now you know. I’m partially crazy. I did something that shocked me. It didn’t kill me. So there ya go!

Bad Pennies

English: Large amount of pennies

Some people are like bad pennies. You can’t get rid of them. They pop up out of nowhere. You thought you were rid of them and then there they are! Out of the blue they are in your life again in some form. Bad pennies are quite negative, thus the term “bad.”

It is so weird, too, because like in the last few weeks I was going along in my life just fine, minding my business. Then there was the penny. I tossed it out. Obviously not hard enough. So then there were all these little return visits by that damned penny. Then today it came back and I was like really?! Damnation! You are a very persistent and obviously stupid penny! Why don’t you take a hint and leave? I throw you away and you keep coming back. I don’t want you in my life. I like nickels, dimes, and quarters and even GOOD pennies! I don’t like BAD pennies! GO AWAY!!!!!!! 

Then this other bad penny in my life…it’s so weird. I didn’t consider this person a bad penny until recently. But it seems this person can’t be bothered to be nice or even civil occasionally to me. No, this person is more like a troll and they search me out to be argumentative about differences of opinions. This person pops up like a bad penny when there is something of a differing opinion not to offer a different view, but rather to be argumentative. If this person wants to be a part of my life in a positive way, I would welcome it, but they have become so negative and bitter towards me that I now just view them as a bad penny. I am at a point in life where I now listen to rational people who can carry on a conversation that is a two-way street. If you want it just one-way, go talk to yourself in a mirror. I no longer tolerate rants directed straight at me. So, second bad penny, we all make choices. Your choice is to alienate yourself from my life, but please do not act like I did it. I am not the one with harsh words. I have had kind words toward you and I hope you will remember that. If you refuse, that is your issue, not mine.

One penny I have thrown away over and over and it keeps coming back. I don’t want it back. I hope it falls in the sewer and stays there, festering in the crap that it is. The other penny is one that has the ability to be a different kind and could be welcomed into my life, but I don’t know what the choice will be. I do know that something will have to change, though, or that penny will be considered a bad penny and will be treated as such.

Another Artistic Outlet

kimsflowers3

Another artistic outlet for me is painting. I’m still teaching myself and hope to learn more later. I live in a very artistic town. I have a lot of friends through various ways, including social media, who are artists. I hope to learn from them because I find their work to be beautiful.  Here is my most recent painting. I gave it to my best friend for Christmas. She loved it. Well, at least she said she did. 🙂

 

Another Year…

Another year rolls around. It actually zipped by. I’m older. I wonder why we celebrate and then I suppose it is just the fact that it is all that is thrown at us in a year. We made it through it all! Wooohooo!!! Right? So I survived to make it to another age. Yeah! I’ll lie about my age, but I survived dammit! Just like I hide those gray hairs. I lie by covering them, but they’re still mine.

So today is my birthday. I celebrated last night and had a lot of fun with crazy friends. We didn’t do anything wild, but it was fun. I laughed like I hadn’t done in a long time and Lord knows I needed that. I need that more. That is my wish for the year…more laughter, less stress.

The day does bring somber thoughts, as well. Today is Mama’s birthday. My wish for her is that she is eating a big ol’ piece of cake with God and Daddy and laughing as well. Happy Birthday, Mama! I love you.

 

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