survivingmiddleage

the ups and downs of life

Archive for the tag “Recreation”

Ahhhh…A Break

I finally have 3 days to myself. It has been wonderful. I have gotten to relax. I have gotten to get the cobwebs out of my head. It has been nice. I have had the opportunity to speak to people I don’t normally get to speak with. I usually have to speak with people I don’t know and sometimes just don’t like.

My cats didn’t know what to think about seeing me more. They tried to party but I was there to stop them. They didn’t know what to think. I had to stop Soleil a few times from some misadventures. At one point I heard something loud. Guess where she was! On top of the fridge! What? No, Soleil! You can’t be on the fridge! That is a no-no! And I loved the look on her face when I told her to get down. It was like, “WTF?! Have you lost your mind?” And the thing was that I was thinking the same thing about her. Had she lost her mind? Why would she think standing on the fridge was ok?

At least Chloe behaved for the most part. She just gave dirty looks from time to time when I was bothering her. She’s funny.

I love both my girls. Silly things.

 

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I Have A Mocking Cat

Soleil the Silly Cat

My Mocking Cat

Yes, you read it correctly. I have a mocking cat. When I make sounds other than talking, she tries to imitate me. It is hilarious. The reason I even thought to post this is because of what happened just a moment ago. I was looking something up online and she was sitting beside me on the bed. She is also a nosy cat and was watching the screen. I had a slight tickle in my throat so I did a little cough. I heard her do one. So I coughed again to see what would happen. She coughed again. So I looked her in the eye and coughed and she made the noise again. I burst out laughing and then she looked at me as if I had suddenly grown a second head.  This isn’t the first time she has done this. If I sneeze she does a fake sneeze. She is so cute. If I had a significant other, I would get him to catch this because anytime I move she runs. Soleil and I would be YouTube sensations! And what is so precious is that it isn’t a game for her. She is very concerned and that is why she is doing it. She is making sure you are ok and that is her way of showing concern. God bless my sensitive cat! Chloe gives a toss of her head, makes a raspberry sound while swishing her tail and walks away. Her only concern is that there better be Friskies Grillers in her bowl!

Funny, Tired or Insane?

English: A black cat resting on a window sill....

You know you’ve felt that moment where something is hysterically funny and you just weren’t sure if it was really that funny or if you were just that tired or if you were truly insane. Yesterday I had one of those moments. I have had a rough week. I was getting into bed after a lot of aggravation. I was exhausted. I was fixing the pillows and the covers just so. Suddenly there is this noise that made me jump. My “plump” (read that as fat) cat who weighs 16 lbs decides she wants up on the window sill. Now, the window is blacked out so I don’t know why she wants up there. She can’t see out. But she wants up there. The ledge is as wide as a dollar bill is long. The cat is a little (read a lot) larger than this. So I’m sitting on the bed watching Soleil jump up and catch her front paws on that ledge. She hung on for dear life. I am watching with bemused amazement that she can hold on. Then she got a back leg up but didn’t quite get the rest of herself up. So she is hanging on sideways on the window sill. I wish I could have grabbed the camera but I was laughing so hard I had tears rolling down my face. I haven’t laughed like that in a long time. I couldn’t stop. It got funnier with the look she gave me. Oh she wasn’t happy with my howling laughter. Then the question of whether it was truly funny, if I was tired, or if I was insane crossed my mind. At the time I really didn’t care. I don’t care too much now either. I have decided that I enjoyed the laughter and whatever state of mind produced it, I must have needed it at the moment. If the laughter persists I might worry. I do think I need much more of it but I think there should be a reason. Cats riding side-saddle on a window sill certainly seems to be a good reason. Don’t you think?

I Have A Heart

I went to the cardiologist’s office today to get my event monitor. Big, scary place. I was amazed at their efficiency. I was in and out of that place in 30 minutes. I have been having these flutters that just don’t feel right and my doctor was concerned. So I have to wear this thing and when I feel them I have to press a button for this device to take a reading. I suppose it is like a mini-EKG. Then I have to call LifeWatch and transmit the data to them.

It was scary when I first started having these feelings. I mean, Mama died at 49. I am almost 42. Then today at the office they’re asking who is your ER contact. That almost made me cry but I stayed strong. Why did it upset me? I don’t have anyone “close” like a significant other and it was a nice little reminder of that. I usually don’t care too much. I am busy with a lot of great things. But when they are asking about pretty serious issues that relate to your mortality? You care. Yeah. It is natural. It is that painful reminder that you normally don’t have at the forefront of your consciousness.

But for the people who wondered, yes, Amy has a heart. And know what else? It flutters.

Aubrey-fiction

Aubrey sat there and felt dead inside. That was the only way to describe it. Empty and dead. It was appropriate. All she could think about was the people she’d lost and buried years ago. She felt as dead as they were. It had only been ten years since she buried them. Amazing how time didn’t cure all wounds. It was a lie. How many times had people patted her hand or back and quietly said that time heals all wounds? She wished she could go back in time and tell them to quit lying.

It was Saturday night. Most people her age were either out celebrating life or enjoying their families. She was home alone. Well, she wasn’t completely alone. Her two cats were there with her. Luna and Bella kept her company when no one else would. They were her confidantes, her therapists, her friends.

At first she couldn’t figure out why today was so sentimental. Finally it dawned on her. Another anniversary. It seemed like every day was an anniversary of something. Every day was a reminder of lost loved ones. Typically she could numb herself in some way. Medications worked sometimes. Alcohol worked. Sometimes throwing herself into projects numbed her brain and body. Today was a day where a cocktail was needed. A little Xanax taken with a shot of tequila. She would feel better soon. And if not, hopefully she would just fall asleep.

The TV was on. She tried watching but there was nothing on that caught her mind, attention or heart. She just kept replaying conversations, moments, and just things that hurt. She wanted to turn the movies in her head off and focus on the TV. If only it was that easy. Her therapist had worked with her on techniques. Nothing was working. She wanted to scream. It would scare the cats. Instead she nestled deeper into the covers of the bed and pulled them around her. She left the TV on and lay there crying. She tried to not make too much noise. She didn’t want to scare the cats.

 (This is part of the creative writing/fiction that I am working on.)

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