the ups and downs of life

Archive for the month “December, 2013”

Jesus and Santa Love Me

I should have bought a birthday cake. I can’t bake too well so it would do better to buy a cake. But Jesus needed a birthday cake. I am just so grateful Jesus loves me and so many more. Today is His dedicated birthday. It’s such a special day. I am glad that is available to all to celebrate.

Santa also loves me. He has sent some “elves” to bring me goodies. It has put a smile on my face this year. A smile is a powerful thing for me and for others. It’s like a light that radiates from my core. I’m grateful Santa has so many elves. It’s a blessing.

I hope you are all having a merry Christmas. Blessings to you all!


Almost There!

Nativity scene at Sacred Heart Catholic Church...

Earlier this month I was struggling! I was working hours that were beyond difficult. I made it to 2 days before Christmas and I have survived so far. 🙂 I have seen the nicer side of people.  I have also seen the bad side of people, but I try to see the positive. (Last night a lady had a horrific fit on me at work and I just had to be very blase’ about the whole thing and treat her like a petulant child having a fit.) I have seen people help each other. I have seen some help people in dire straits. I have had people in stores help me find things and do it cheerfully. I have had friends come out of the woodwork and just be so sweet and special that it made my heart sing.

This is the best Christmas I have had in years. Yes, I do still miss several people. Yes, I have lost many loved ones along the way. But I have gained many through the year as well. Some of the people I have lost were through death and some were due to the fact that they just needed to be out of my life. To those of my friends and family who are reading this blog, I love you and appreciate you and my heart is overflowing because of your care and kindness. Thank you.

For the people who follow my blog, thank you. You also bring something to my heart. You don’t know me and yet you take time from your lives to come here. Thank you. It means more than you know.

I hope everyone has a merry Christmas. I hope if you don’t know the reason for the season that you learn more about it. Jesus is truly amazing and I am blessed because of all He has done for me.

Ah December

What a month! I really don’t like this month. I feel chaotic, frustrated, sometimes depressed and sometimes forgotten. Work is at a pace that I wonder if I can keep up. There are days when I can barely keep up. We have more and more accounts starting. New employees who need constant supervision. It is chaotic to say the least. Most days I feel like screaming. I curse under my breath a lot.

Then of course with the holidays I start getting the depression thing. It’s just how it is. And it is such a Catch-22. You want to be with people and yet you don’t. You don’t want to take your holiday blues to others and possibly infect them. You’re afraid you can’t laugh because the holidays are painful.

And while you don’t want to be with people, you would like to talk to them some and they’re too busy with their own things. Again, a Catch-22. You get it and yet…

So what to do? Endure it. Wait for it to end. I try to find things that make me happy such as painting, movies, writing and my cats.


I hate this time of year

This time of year brings up a lot of negative feelings for me. It makes me reflect on could’ve, would’ve and should’ve situations. Holiday crap is upon us. I am working to the point where that is mostly my life.

I think of making changes and then I am unsure of how. Which changes do I make? I’m scared of change. Every change I have ever made seems to have gone wrong. It’s not easy to make changes at my age.

I don’t know what the answer is. I wish I did.

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