It’s Amy. This year was quite the year. I will not say I was an angel, but considering all I had to deal with I certainly wasn’t the devil I could have been. I mean, I had to deal with an obsessive-compulsive Lawn Mower Man/Weed Eater Man/Leaf Blower Man just about daily. Lack of sleep and just plain ol’ meanness nearly drove me to doing some pretty drastic measures. I didn’t put out the extra rocks that I considered. I also didn’t put clear forks in the lawn, tines up, to maim the mower. Yes, I admit the thought occurred but I was rational. I figured I would get evicted if I did it. See?! I was good AND showed restraint! That should count for something! Right?!?!
I also didn’t pitch fits at work at times when I wanted to. I was cussed at on the phones at times and called in at crazy hours. I didn’t get to go home to Alabama as planned because things at work changed. But I kept on working and sucked it up. I worked while sniffling, sneezing, running a fever, and feeling like someone had run me over. Shouldn’t that warrant some good favor?
So, Ho Ho, I would like some things this year and think I am deserving. I would like:
- A vacation get-away somewhere warm and quiet, but with internet access
- A new bed that feels like heaven when I climb in it
- A new laptop
- A nice age-appropriate woman for Lawn Mower Man/Weed Eater Man/Leaf Blower Man to keep him occupied and TIRED
- A nice age-appropriate man for me that will make me laugh again and possibly keep me tired, too (wink-wink)
- A cat tower for my girls because they deserve it
- More money in my bank account
- Spa day for me
I think upon review, you’ll find these things to be not so bad. I could have said, “Screw it!” But I didn’t! I have been pretty good for the majority of the year. Yeah, there were some slip ups and my mouth might need to be cleaned out a little, but it’s not as bad as it could be. Santa, don’t ya have it in your heart to help a middle aged chick out? I mean, honestly, in the last decade you have been slacking. I haven’t said anything but frankly enough is enough.