survivingmiddleage

the ups and downs of life

Archive for the tag “life”

Where I Am

I was talking to someone recently and the subject turned to where we are in life. Am I where I want to be? NO. A solid, resounding no. But when I say that, it doesn’t mean that I can’t look at things and find something positive.

There are so many things in my life I would change. Oh so many! But something I wouldn’t change is my heart. I know that the bottom line is that I am a good person. That has no monetary value. And for some people it may not mean much. But the way I was raised, that means a whole lot. I was raised to be a good person. I was raised to treat others well. I was raised to root for the underdog. I was raised to help others when I might not have much.

There are times when I wish I could just be selfish and only look after myself without a care for others. It might make life easier. I might be further ahead in life. But how would I feel?

So when I do an inventory of my life I have to take into account the person I am as well as where I am. I also take into account the people who are in my life. I have had to shed some people from my life. I have also grown my circle. This is not an easy thing for me to do. While I love others, I don’t trust easily. But as I have gotten older, I have learned that sharing my life with others can bring me joy. So I have learned to open doors slightly here and there to see how it goes.

So where I am now is in a constant state of learning and growing. I would love to say I know everything I need to know. I don’t. At all. It’s a process. I am trying to learn and move forward.

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Changing Times

It amazes me how things have changed over the years. I don’t necessarily mean that in a good way either. While we have made great technological strides, I think these forward facing technological steps have made us take several steps backwards in common decency, manners and overall common goodwill.

It is so easy for millions of people to sit behind their keyboards and judge others openly and often harshly. It is as if they have forgotten that having a filter is a good thing. Just because we have a thought doesn’t necessarily mean we should blurt it out, no matter if it is in person or typing it out. Anonymity doesn’t mean that it is ok to be hurtful. And yet people often spout off whatever they want to others.

Maybe we should take a look at how people are treating each other and realize it is not ok. We have people who are defensive most of the time these days because they have dealt with some of these internet jockeys. It is difficult to not blast these people because, frankly, they’re nothing but cyber assholes and bullies. I typically want to stand up for whoever is being bullied. Sometimes, though, that just fans the flames.

But what I wonder is why these people feel it is ok to be the cyber asshole? It is becoming commonplace. It’s spilling over into real life and people are beginning to do this face-to-face. All of this is unacceptable.

Whatever happened to the Golden Rule? Do unto others as you would have them do unto you!!!! This is a great philosophy to live by. We might have a little more peaceful and civil environment if we did this. I know that people are jerks from time to time because they are human. We don’t have to add to it because we can.

We shouldn’t be so proud to be “tell it like it is” people. That’s just another cop out to be an asshole. It is one thing to speak your mind and it is another to be a jerk doing it. You don’t have to say what you think with a close-minded tone. You can give your opinion while being civil and it is not the hardest thing in the world to do. We should try it more often.

If we put as much effort into just being civil and courteous as we do into being heard and being right, we might have a more peaceful country. We might have more understanding and free flowing conversations. I know this is a lot to ask but I really wish people would focus more on lifting each other up instead of pushing each other down.

Being a Grownup

When you’re a kid, you think growing up is the best thing in the world. Things will be wonderful! I’ll be able to do whatever I want whenever I want! What a joke!

As an adult I follow more rules now than I ever did as a kid. It’s funny but my mother pretty much gave me guidelines and I followed them somewhat. As an adult, I follow rules constantly. I have to go to work. I pay bills. I am responsible!

I am so responsible that I work 7 days a week to afford to live in a decent neighborhood. I also sell Avon. (btw, if anyone wants to shop my e-store, you can!) I am exhausted most days. I have tried to move forward but that seems impossible.

So I am stuck. Welcome to adulthood! It seems many people are. I’m not the only one. I don’t know what the problem is, but it is a problem. There are times I feel like a rat stuck in one of those sticky glue traps. Stuck.

I also thought friendships would just be there and life would be easy. Not so much. People you thought would be there forever weren’t. People you didn’t expect to stay in your life did. People who told you that you were like family push you away.

My advice is to avoid growing up if you can. Enjoy being young as long as possible! Enjoy being carefree and irresponsible. You have a finite amount of time to live that way unless you were born rich. Not many of us were born rich. Enjoy freedom! Enjoy laughter! And always remind yourself that even when it may not feel like others love you that you should love yourself.

If Only

If only life was like the movies I watch. I watch and see all of these happy endings. It gives hope. Is it false? I don’t know. I honestly don’t. I watch these movies with crazy plot twists. Good usually overcomes evil. Love conquers all. There is a happily ever after.

I have also seen others in real life achieve it. But is it possible for me? I don’t know. I honestly don’t know. If only.

There are promises all through the Bible about God giving us the desires of our hearts  and having a plan for us. I believe that. But there are times when I doubt for myself. I have believed and then had life blow up in my face. I know we have all hurt. I know. But when you have trusted and believed and honestly thought you had it right finally and it was a lie, it just makes you doubt everything.

I’m trying. I’m moving forward and doing what I should. Doing all the right things. I was before, too, though. I guess the only thing I can do is keep doing it and hoping and praying and keep doing what I know is right. Let go of the hurts and hold on to the promises of God. In the meantime, I’ll go back to being a nun who wears lipstick and doesn’t wear a habit.

Maybe life will all fall together. If only.

I’m Not As Good As I Once Was

I am older but I am still me. I’ve been kicked around by life so many times that I think I have permanent bruises. But the thing about me is that I am resilient. I’m like that bad penny that keeps showing up. I just won’t go away and I keep coming back. I’m not as good as I once was, but I’m as good once as I ever was is the way Toby Keith put it.

I have been feeling down and out lately as some of you know. But tonight I decided to take a bad situation and make some lemonade. My power was going off and on and I looked out and the power company had some good-looking guys out there working. So I moseyed outside to find out what was going on. I joked and flirted for a bit and came back inside feeling a little more confident. I don’t normally flirt with strangers but I figured why not? Nothing to lose and I could gain my electricity! So I got a nice ego boost and my electricity back on.

Not too shabby for a chick whose had the crap kicked out of her lately. Yay me! Progress! Turns out that the natural flirt in me was like Lazarus. She was raised from the dead. Do I plan to do that regularly? No. but once in a while won’t hurt.

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