One major holiday down, one more to go. I’m getting Grinchy with it! I have been fighting my Grinch tendencies. I have. But circumstances have brought them out and it is like it is inevitable. I suppose I will forever be a Grinch. I don’t like it. But yet it is who I am.
The holidays bring up memories of who I was with at various times of my life and most of those memories are hard. Most of those people are gone. There is nothing I can do about it. It just hurts. Some people are trying to tell me how happy I should be and all that. They don’t realize that my heart aches and longs for people I can never see or talk to again. I miss these people I loved so deeply. The holiday time for most is chaotic and filled with love. For me it is filled with a hole in my heart that makes me want to cry most of the time. I try to not feel that way. But that is like telling someone not to blink. See what happens.
So while I try to pull out of the holiday funk, I have a hard time. I work too hard and then come home and think about it too much. I do wish everyone else happy holidays. I do remember when they were fun and happy.