survivingmiddleage

the ups and downs of life

Archive for the tag “adulthood”

Being a Grownup

When you’re a kid, you think growing up is the best thing in the world. Things will be wonderful! I’ll be able to do whatever I want whenever I want! What a joke!

As an adult I follow more rules now than I ever did as a kid. It’s funny but my mother pretty much gave me guidelines and I followed them somewhat. As an adult, I follow rules constantly. I have to go to work. I pay bills. I am responsible!

I am so responsible that I work 7 days a week to afford to live in a decent neighborhood. I also sell Avon. (btw, if anyone wants to shop my e-store, you can!) I am exhausted most days. I have tried to move forward but that seems impossible.

So I am stuck. Welcome to adulthood! It seems many people are. I’m not the only one. I don’t know what the problem is, but it is a problem. There are times I feel like a rat stuck in one of those sticky glue traps. Stuck.

I also thought friendships would just be there and life would be easy. Not so much. People you thought would be there forever weren’t. People you didn’t expect to stay in your life did. People who told you that you were like family push you away.

My advice is to avoid growing up if you can. Enjoy being young as long as possible! Enjoy being carefree and irresponsible. You have a finite amount of time to live that way unless you were born rich. Not many of us were born rich. Enjoy freedom! Enjoy laughter! And always remind yourself that even when it may not feel like others love you that you should love yourself.

Nobody Told Me

Nobody told me that this whole grown up thing was a sham. It really is. Bills, work, relationships. Bills keep getting bigger and I keep getting less for what I pay for. I work like crazy trying to pay for those crazy bills.

And then there’s the relationships. Sometimes I wonder why bother trying. I was recently in one for a few months. He loved me he said. He wanted to marry me he said. Then he didn’t he said. I felt a little like Carrie Bradshaw from Sex and the City. The breakup wasn’t on a post it. No, it was in a text. Yes, you read that right. A text. I was upset on many levels. Hurt, yes. Angry, absolutely! If you’re going to do something like that, have the courage to do it in person. That is just being a coward. And don’t pretend things are fine two days prior to the breakup. It’s absolutely ridiculous.

So after all of that nonsense, I’m moving forward with my life. It’s funny. I’m doing things I didn’t imagine I would. I am following my dreams for a change. I’m trying life out and being as brave as I can. I’m grateful for my faith in God and  I’m grateful for my supportive friends who have been there through the ups and downs.

 

Life in a Pressure Cooker

English: The pressure cooker

English: The pressure cooker (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Have you ever had that moment where you wished you weren’t a rational adult? You wished instead you just said what was really on your mind, no matter what the consequences! Some of us live our lives minding our p’s and q’s to the point of where we wouldn’t know who we were if we did let loose and really feel and say what we truly felt. Sometimes I feel like a pressure cooker with that little thingamabob on top steaming and moving and getting so agitated. Then someone turns the heat down and loosens the lid and the pressure releases and I can breathe again. And then at other times that pressure builds until it can’t stop! And when it blows up….well…

And then sometimes it does…and when they say that one thing that triggers you, it is like someone fired a gun! And before you know it, your mouth has a mind of its own and it says the things that your mind has rattled around for long periods of time. And it comes out in that rapid, loud speech that you have absolutely no control over and you’re just shocked that you can think this fast, much less speak this fast. And there it is. It is said. People look at you as if you have kicked a puppy when it was really you standing up to the class bully that no one else had the nerve to say anything to until now. They’re too shocked and scared to move. You’re kind of  feeling the same way. And finally you realize you really need to pee. So you walk away. You kind of expect that slow clap thing from the movies but instead there is this buzzing of whispers frantically wondering if you have suddenly lost leave of all your faculties. You want to turn around and tell them, “No, not really. I realized I need to pee. But thank you for being concerned! Have a nice day!”

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