the ups and downs of life

Circles of Friends

As an adult I have come to value relationships more and more. I kind of view my relationships like concentric circles. There are those people who are close to the center (me) that are really close friends. The next circle are friends who are kinda close but aren’t as close and so on and so forth. The further you get out, the less close we are. It’s not a bad thing; it’s just life. We can’t be BFF with everyone in life. Even Psalms reminds us to guard our hearts (Psalms 4:23).

So over the years I have been somewhat ok about guarding my heart. I have let some people in who I shouldn’t. I think that is part of life and a learning experience. I have also let some in who went from a further circle and made their way closer. That is always a nice feeling when someone cared enough that they moved forward.

What happens, though, when someone shuts you out and you really care about this person and they are in one of the tight circles? They haven’t left, won’t go and you have tried everything you know. Do you just ignore them? Act like they never existed because that is how they’re treating you? It is a situation I am dealing with now. I still care about this person and have done all I can and will do at this point. I won’t apologize anymore because I have tried and it has fallen on deaf ears. I have reached out and have been treated as if I was dead. But yet this person doesn’t want to remove themselves from my circle completely. My thing is that you’re either in or out. If this person truly doesn’t want me in their lives, then why are they not exiting mine? I put the ball in their court and they refuse to do anything with it. I hate that I am the one who is being made to look and feel bad over something I have tried to rectify. The funny thing is that this person gave me advice a while back to cut all ties with another person who did something similar but I was involved with in a different way.

Relationships aren’t easy, whether they’re friendship or romantic. It’s not easy making decisions regarding them. It’s not easy to quit caring when you actually still do.


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