the ups and downs of life

My Life as Job

There are times I feel like my life has been much like Job. Well, I didn’t have his family or riches. That might have been nice. But I had everything taken from me. My family, home, friends, etc. I won’t pretend to be blameless on every aspect. But I do love God and have begged and pleaded and prayed for restoration. So far that hasn’t come.

Job’s wife told him to curse God and die. There has been much controversy to her response. A part of me feels like she hurt so much watching him hurt that she just didn’t want him to suffer any longer. It’s hard watching someone you love hurt. Then Job’s friends came up and some were quite judgmental. “Job, you must be pretty bad to have had ALL THAT happen.” “Job, you got what you deserve, dude.” With friends like that, who needs enemies? The man is at his lowest and he is being told he deserves it. Wow.

I’ve been told that throughout my life in various situations. Even though it has happened before, it is still shocking and jarring to have it said. I have also heard the pat responses of “it’ll be ok.” I don’t know if things in life will be ok. So far they haven’t. I’m holding on to the bible verse Jeremiah 29:11 and trying to believe that God knows the plans he has for me that are to prosper me and not for calamity. I have felt a lot like Calamity Amy for most of my life.

I heard a sermon today about God not being done with me yet. I hope He isn’t. It’s painful, though, because at this age, I have not felt calm and peace and real love. That is all I want. Is God going to give me that? That’s what I have been praying for since I was a kid.

I’m tired of feeling like Job. I pray that God will heal my heart, restore what he can that I have lost and give me calm, peace and real love.


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