the ups and downs of life


Sometimes we have expectations of people or things and end up let down. I know that I have tried in life to not expect much because I ended up getting hurt. I figure if  you have no expectations that if something good happens, then that is like a surprise or something. If something bad happens, then it must be Murphy’s Law. Something bad is bound to happen at some point.

That’s why sometimes I don’t like to let myself get too comfortable in anything good. I get scared that a shoe is going to drop. Something may happen where I don’t have the explanation for it but it hurt my feelings anyway. To be such a hard-ass at times, I am really a tender-heart to the core. Someone can look at me wrong, say something hurtful or just flat out ignore me and my heart is hurt. And yes, I have jumped the gun and reacted before knowing the whole story. But when it comes to my heart, that happens sometimes. I can react emotionally.

But it makes me wonder if it is better to have no expectations or not. For the longest I had none because I had just shut down. I didn’t want to expect anything because all I got was bad. Then when I began expecting things. Just a little bit here and there. And it hurt when those expectations weren’t met. I am not sure what to do in situations like that. How do you clarify what you want, need and expect without sounding like a whiny brat?

It’s a fine line to walk. I’m not good at tight ropes.


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