the ups and downs of life

Ah December

What a month! I really don’t like this month. I feel chaotic, frustrated, sometimes depressed and sometimes forgotten. Work is at a pace that I wonder if I can keep up. There are days when I can barely keep up. We have more and more accounts starting. New employees who need constant supervision. It is chaotic to say the least. Most days I feel like screaming. I curse under my breath a lot.

Then of course with the holidays I start getting the depression thing. It’s just how it is. And it is such a Catch-22. You want to be with people and yet you don’t. You don’t want to take your holiday blues to others and possibly infect them. You’re afraid you can’t laugh because the holidays are painful.

And while you don’t want to be with people, you would like to talk to them some and they’re too busy with their own things. Again, a Catch-22. You get it and yet…

So what to do? Endure it. Wait for it to end. I try to find things that make me happy such as painting, movies, writing and my cats.



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