survivingmiddleage

the ups and downs of life

Learning About Yourself

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When I look at my life, I usually get a little frustrated. Sometimes it seems disjointed and like I’m not who or what I am supposed to be. When I was younger I had this idea of who and what I should be. Who and what I am now is not that person at all.

I was recently speaking to some interesting people and as the conversation flowed I realized that my life isn’t necessarily disjointed. It is diverse! I have held some interesting jobs. I have worked with some interesting characters. Even though I don’t always find myself to be the most adventurous, I have done some things that would scare a lot. Some people move easily and some don’t. I have lived in four different states. That may not seem like many but for someone who doesn’t like change of environment so much, these were big steps for me.

I have learned more and more about my artistic side later in life. (Man, that sentence is so depressing!) I have allowed my writing to flow and just let people read. I used to be so fearful of how people would react to what I wrote that I just didn’t do it. Now, who cares?! I have to get these words out. They are part of me and they’re like the carbon dioxide of my brain. I have inhaled all of these thoughts and they have processed and then I exhaled these written words.

I started learning to paint. Who would have thought I would paint?! I never did it at any point in my life and then suddenly I decided I liked art so much that I could try it and probably do well. I was fearless when I started. I wasn’t fantastic but I am not terrible. I love mixing colors and putting things together.

I think some of these things came from where I live. Asheville, NC is a little bit of everything. I think it brought out the little bit of everything within me as well. I have learned about myself and suppose I probably will continue to do so the longer I live.

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