survivingmiddleage

the ups and downs of life

Giving Thanks

Be Thankful

There were times in my life when I wasn’t sure I really had much to be thankful for. I felt so empty and alone that I just didn’t see how I could be grateful for that. Over the past couple of years I have learned that while I may feel alone that I am not. I may no longer really be part of any one particular family anymore, I am still Amy.

I am grateful that my mother raised me to be outspoken and free-thinking and willful. Some people think she didn’t do that, but she told me one day in a very long and poignant conversation that she did that because she wanted me to speak out and be heard when I wanted or needed to be. She didn’t want me to feel stifled like she had in her life. So I am very grateful for a Mama who loved me enough to raise a wild-ass daughter, even when it backfired at times. (I know it seems like I am leaving my father out, but I am thankful for him and I do love and miss him. He just didn’t appreciate this particular aspect of me like Mama did.)

I have a few people who are in my life that are in that inner realm and I am grateful for them. I thank them for being a  part of my life. They didn’t duck and run when times weren’t easy. They stood fast and strong and waited for the storms of life to end so that the healing of time could begin. I am thankful. I have a love for these people that is beyond measure. It is rare to find these kinds of people to stand with you like this. Many people will run as soon as there is a moment of discomfort. I found that out the hard way with family and friends. Not all of them, but some. Some I never imagined and some I knew would do so. It hurt. That is why my love for the ones left is so much more powerful.

I am also very thankful for my country. I love the United States. It may not be perfect, but it is home and it is wonderful! I am free to say and think my dreams. Not everyone in this world has that privilege and that is so sad.

I am thankful for my dear cats who love me unconditionally. They make me smile and laugh at times when I don’t want to or don’t think it is possible. Soleil with her sweet, gentle heart. Chloe with her catch-me-if-you-can attitude. Such a difference in personalities and yet we are all a happy little family together. They both just love.

I am thankful for a job. Yes, it drives me crazy often, but it also provides enough money to live meagerly. I have days when I want to scream and tear out other people’s hair, but I think about how many people would like a job and it stops me. I have a job that I rock at. I have made some good friends over those phone lines. I am grateful for that paycheck.

I am even grateful for past relationships. They have shown me what I shouldn’t do and what I should look for. They have opened my eyes to my own flaws and have helped me overcome some of them and have helped me realize that I am stronger than I ever believed possible.

I am thankful for God for believing in me when I didn’t believe in myself. Having lost my family young, I lost that cheering section that most people have. Most of us have a crowd of people telling us we can do things and to just go for it. When you feel lost and alone, it is hard to do that. But thankfully God has more faith in me than I have in myself and He cheers me on and tells me I can do things. I may not have a massive cheering section, but I have a great one!

I am thankful for anyone reading this. It means a lot that anyone has taken the time to read my heart, mind, and sometimes soul. Thank you.

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