survivingmiddleage

the ups and downs of life

Making Friends As An Adult

Cover of "Friends"

Cover of Friends

 

When you’re a kid it is easy to find friends. You go to school, there’s all these kids to be friends with. You are involved in activities, there’s all these kids to be friends with. Friendships are organic with kids. When you’re an adult it just is not so organic. You go to work. You try to not knock the piss out of your coworker for singing in their cubicle all day to what you believe is Lady Ga Ga, which by the way made you want to gag.

 

If you’re like me, you’re too tired to do much and you usually go straight home after work. My human interactions take place at the grocery store mostly. I am like Norm at Cheers when I first walk in and then I get my shopping done and I go back home. My other interactions include blogging, chatting with friends online because our schedules conflict because I work crazy hours, and then I go back to work. I do talk to some awesome people at work on the phone, mostly at the hospital, and they love me. Are those friendships? In a way I think they are. We don’t do stuff. We don’t talk on the phone. We aren’t even friends on Facebook. So maybe not really. Hmmmm….

 

Alright, people, I need HELP! How do I make friends?! I’m single. I’m bored. I’m not boring. (Sometimes I am, but who isn’t sometimes? Right?) I am not looking to make a “connection” so don’t even go there. I just need more friends. I love the ones I have! I just want more! How do you get them? It’s not like you walk up to strangers and say, “Will you be my friend?” Not only is that beyond lame, that is creepy as hell. And see, that is another thing, I need someone who would laugh at that. Cause that really is funny as well as creepy. I’m just a middle-aged woman trying to resurrect my life Gimme a freaking break here and help me out! Please?

 

 

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7 thoughts on “Making Friends As An Adult

  1. Hey there – I have been through this very thing. I moved to my current city 5 years ago and although I am an extroverted people person, it was not easy making friends. At my age, everybody is busy, everybody has their own circle of friends already, no one is looking for new friends…

    It took 2 years for me to feel good about my social life. I have some very good work friends now. I started by baking for our meetings. Everybody appreciated the healthful but tasty homemade goodies. It was a conversation starter. Then a group that calls themselves The Gang invited me to lunch. And it went from there.

    I joined a church and joined a Bible study. That was a natural.

    I joined a fitness center, and some of the leaders there have become my core group of friends. At first I just took classes. Then I became an instructor. Then I joined the martial arts program. I offered to take care of opening up and closing down. The leaders of the class were appreciative and invited me to lunch. Now we are a group of 9 who are always there for each other.

    In short, I guess what I have done is join stuff where people congregate. You do need to have some energy for that sort of thing, but it’s worth it. I’m also now in the best shape of my life!

    Wishing you the best –

    Love & prayers,
    DJ

    • Good ideas, DJ! I really don’t want to associate with people from work because I honestly spend too much time there and don’t want more interactions about it. But the other stuff might work!

  2. Well what about adult outtings. We have a online service called Meet-up in the DFW area (may be other areas as well) and you can join a variety of groups that do outtings and such. I started my own group several years ago and we did all types of things from dinners, to going to see live bands, going to sporting events, did walk events, did swim parties and bbq’s during the summer, all kids of stuff and I met a lot of local friends and although I didn’t have the time to host the group anymore, I still have those friendships and get together when time permits. I think church is a good option as well. You might try something like a pottery or craft class, or if your a bowler, join a league. Wish you were closer and we could hang out. If your ever in DFW ๐Ÿ™‚ Good luck !!

    • See? You taught me something! This is what I needed! Thank you! Yeah, if we lived closer we could definitely hang out! I need ideas on things to do. Thankfully I have met some artsy people on Facebook but it is so hard finding friends. Who knew? lol But thanks for such a great idea!

  3. I find that as I age, I make friends easier in other races than in my own. However, I still crave friendships within my own race as we KNOW each other culturally. As one friend put it–she doesn’t have time to ‘court’ new relationships as it makes her walk on egg shells until she and the new friend are comfortable. I agree. I have made a New Years Resolution to enjoy my own company and not even try to ‘court’ new friendships–if they happen–they happen. Yes, I get lonely, but I am past the BS of having to walk on eggshells with folk. Good luck.

    • I am lucky to have a handful of true friends. I had a birthday party recently and my true friends were there. I felt honored. I was also honored to be surrounded by multi-colors. ๐Ÿ™‚ I don’t care what color someone is; I only care what is in their heart. I wish you joy and happiness in life. Thank you for stopping by!

  4. I no longer go to church for personal reasons. We have moved to a new town several years ago and it happens to be a college town. I enjoy it but most of the people we meet tend to be too young to socialize with. WE have gone to a few gatherings of people our age from my husbands place of employment, not satisfying. They talked the whole time about dying, ill health, being too old to travel or do something new. I’m older than they are. I want to enjoy myself with someone to talk with, to go to coffee, shopping or the museum or maybe cross country skiing, exercising etc. I’m having no luck. It’s either people who are sedentary or do not read anymore. Help!

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