the ups and downs of life

Sometimes It Is What It Is

Often we see something or hear something and read things into it. Come on, you know you’ve done it, too! You’ve heard something and heard what you thought was subtext. Or you saw something written and felt it was a little too pointed. I have done that I don’t know how many times. I have had it done to me I don’t know how many times.

It’s frustrating! Sometimes I just want to scream, “Sometimes it is what it is! There’s nothing else to it! Accept it!” I don’t like being questioned. I don’t like feeling as if I need to explain myself. I just want to say something and let it be what it is. Sometimes (most times) I really do mean what I say. The only times I don’t is when I say I am ok when someone asks how I am when we all know I’m not. Sometimes I know they really don’t want to know and I really don’t want to get all upset trying to explain it. In general, though, I say what I mean and it is what it is. And if you want to know how I am…I’m fine.


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2 thoughts on “Sometimes It Is What It Is

  1. Hi Amy,

    Oh, I have read many, many things into completely benign situations and writings which aren’t there whatsoever when I return to them out of emotional turmoil. You don’t need to explain yourself whatsoever.

    As for telling people you’re okay when you’re not? I’ve found I do the same because people want to have that “I’m okay,” answer. It’s like muttering, “I’m sorry,” just to smooth over a potential hostile interaction. I have experienced many people who ask if I’m okay want to appear sympathetic without having to get involved, and that can tear through a person who’s done it in addiction and now wants to stop doing it in recovery. And if I’m in a mood to be fully truthful, it sometimes does end with me stating angrily, “Then why did you ask, if you didn’t want to know?” In response, I just return to muttering, “I’m fine” or “I’m okay” because it’s easier and keeps it to Step Four/Five resentments I can work on without having to make Step Eight/Nine amends.

    • For some reason I have felt emotionally charged and so have a lot of others. We seem to be doing this. Some of the situations are personal and some are not. The personal ones I can handle fine and will just tell them to either to accept it at face value or if they feel we need to hash something out then to do it. But the non-personal relationships are not so easily remedied. I still just answer with “I’m fine” or “I’m ok” because they really don’t care most of the time. But I agree completely with you about it being frustrating and getting to the point of wanting to ask, “Then why did you ask, if you didn’t want to know?” đŸ™‚ I have wanted to just say that so many times throughout my life.

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