survivingmiddleage

the ups and downs of life

Why Bother?

Sometimes I feel like “Why bother?” I was trying to tell something to someone earlier today. They refused to listen to me because they just knew they were right. I felt like just saying why bother? I knew they were wrong from the information presented and there was black and white proof, but they were arguing with me. I was just too frustrated and tired to argue. I had tried to say something like 4 times and this person kept talking over me. Finally I was tired of it and I was just ready to leave. I said, “If you’d stop talk over me and let me finish a sentence, you could hear what I am saying!” I briefly explained it. Then I left. If this person then wanted to continue look for something wrong, fine. I don’t care. But I was no longer bothering. The funny thing was they were looking for a piece of paper that was non-existent. But that is like a dog chasing its tail. Maybe after they wore themselves out chasing it they would figure that out. I wasn’t sticking around for hours watching it spin in circles.

Another situation, I have gone out of my way to maintain a friendship. The friend has just seemed to be a friend when it was convenient. There have been times when this person fails to be places on time. No phone call, no nothing. Just kind of breezes in and says hello as if nothing is wrong. Then they can’t seem to understand why I am upset. They were supposed to be meeting me so I could make it somewhere else at a designated time. I had no idea what time they were going to arrive. I have either had to cancel something else or had to fly to make it there. I feel used and angry. I am wondering if this is even friendship or what. I am honestly starting to doubt it. I like this person and I hate this behavior. I have to interact with this person like this multiple times a week. It’s starting to cause problems. I don’t want to have to confront them, but I suppose I am going to have to. I am tired of my life being in chaos because of someone else. It’s bad enough when I cause chaos. But when outside forces are causing it? That’s bad! But the part I am concerned about is the friendship…I mean, why bother? Do I bother? I care about this person. But I don’t feel like it is really reciprocated. Or if it is, it is superficial. And maybe that is all they’re capable of. But I need better than that.

Maybe I am in a bad mood. Maybe I am just reflective. But I feel like why bother at times. Some people just don’t care and some people just aren’t worth it. How do y’all handle moments like these? I really want to know. I am just kinda stuck and I don’t want to be stuck. I want to feel confident with how I handle things.

 

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5 thoughts on “Why Bother?

  1. I know those sorts of friends, I have had a few of them over the years. The ones that take and take and take from you and never really have anything to offer you in return. Those that don’t value you as they should. I know you said you care about this person, so I would say something to let the person know how your feeling about the situation that way you know that you did everything you could and if things don’t change for the better then you know it’s okay to walk away. You deserve a friend that puts into the relationship all that you do.

    • Thanks. I did say something recently. I tried to do it in a joking manner because other people were present and they are the ones who brought up the subject. The friend didn’t like my response and was somewhat defensive. I asked point blank, “Would you like it if I did that to you?” I think that caused some reflection. My guess is that they didn’t even think what they were doing was wrong or bothersome to me. It is and was and I said it. We’ll see what happens now.

      • Well good for you for standing up for yourself. It’s amazing how some people can be so oblivious to how they treat other people. Hopefully your friend will make a positive change and treat you the way a friend should !

        • It seems my words got through. I thanked her. We’ll see if it continues. I hope so. I think she needed to actually hear it. She knew it was an issue, but as long as I didn’t say it, then it was THAT big of an issue. But it really was. But she is trying and that is something. Thanks for the support! ๐Ÿ™‚

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