the ups and downs of life

Cost Benefit Analysis of a Relationship

Someone asked me what I thought about ending relationships. My thought is that it isn’t easy to do and should be considered carefully. So we discussed it further and I explained how I felt a relationship is an investment. You invest your feelings, time, energy, heart and soul in some relationships.

Now if you are married, I don’t suggest just getting a divorce. I don’t believe in that. But if the relationship is prior to marriage or is a friendship, I suggest the cost benefit analysis method. Look at the whole relationship. How much are you putting in? What is it costing you? Is that cost something you are comfortable with? Next you need to look at what your return is. What are you getting back? Do you feel like the other person is as invested in you as you are them? Are you comfortable with that? Once you’ve broken it down and analyzed it, then make a decision. Stay or go? Is this relationship worth it? Unfortunately, not all are. Some you have to let go and move on. And it hurts. And some you realize you aren’t putting enough effort in. Maybe you’ll get more out if you put more in. What is beneficial to you?

Bottom line, relationships are huge investments. We pour ourselves into them. We need to feel like we’re getting something back. If you’re not, then something needs to change. And you’re the only one who can figure out what that change needs to be.


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2 thoughts on “Cost Benefit Analysis of a Relationship

  1. Khadijah on said:

    I did one before work this morning. My bestie and I are fighting, but when I broke down how often we fight within a year (1.9%), and charted it, I realized that the time we spent fighting was nothing in comparison to how much I loved her or how happy I was in the friendship. Thanks!

    • Some relationships are worth saving. I was in a battle with a friend of mine for a long time and I considered cutting all ties. Something told me not to do it. I love her deeply and she is one of my best friends. But I was so hurt and angry with her. After 4 months of being angry and not really talking, we ended it. We started to get into who hurt more and we realized we both hurt and it just had to stop. So we started over and now we just love each other. Real friendships and love can endure hard times. I’m glad yours worked out, too. 🙂

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