Whose Business Is It?

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I was listening to Byron Katie’s audiobook  Loving What Is  and really got into it. One thing she said that got me is when we are thinking of shoulds and shouldn’ts, we are often worrying about things that are often not our business. There are things that are your business, my business and God’s business. I should worry about my business. I can’t stop every thought, but I can decide whose business it is and try to let it just be their business.

It’s not that I even care too much about other people’s business. A lot of times I care about how other people feel about me. Know what? That’s not my business! I can’t change them or their view. I can only live my life to make myself the best person I feel I need to be and do what makes me feel better. I know who I have to answer to at the end of the day and at the end of my life. Most of the people who I have been worried about in the past are not in those two categories so ultimately I don’t need to worry so much about what they think!

It’s a pretty liberating thought when you really consider it. While very liberating, it is also very difficult. We’re not wired that way. Well, not most of us anyway. I wasn’t. I was raised by a baby-boomer who wanted me to behave 85% of the time. She enjoyed my impropriety 10% of the time and then the other 5% of the time she was confused by it.

I am trying to do my hardest to live my life with it my business. I do wish people approved of my business, but I can’t live for others. I tried. I really did. It caused me to marry the wrong man and then to live in pain and tears for years due to that wrong and fateful decision. Why? Because I was living someone else’s business.

So whose business is it? It’s Amy’s business! And I’m living it intentionally now.

(If you have lived for others, I urge you to check out Byron Katie. It’s very good. Read  her book or listen to her audiobook Loving What Is.)

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Things Single People Worry About

I worry. About everything. But when I was in a relationship I didn’t worry as much about some things. Now he did cause me to worry a whole lot about other things, but that is a whole different blog altogether! But as a single woman I have found I worry about things some people just don’t understand.

So what do I worry about? What don’t I worry about should be the question! But the other day I was here alone (well, the cats were here, too) and was eating and all of a sudden got choked. Am I gonna be like Mama Cass and die asphyxiated on a sandwich? I don’t wanna go out like that. Then there is the whole dying issue. If/When I die, who is gonna take care of my cats? I think my friend, Kim, is. But it is something to worry about. Also, most women around my age have things in their nightstand drawer that they wouldn’t want people to see. If I die, somebody is gonna see that! I don’t want them to see that. Also, if I died tonight, my house is a wreck! I don’t want someone walking into this pig sty! And I don’t have any immediate family, so is somebody gonna bury me or throw my ashes off Monte Sano Mountain in Huntsville, Alabama? I asked my cousin to do it, but I’ll be dead. How will I know?

There are so many things single people have to worry about that married people don’t. If you have a spouse, be glad. They might help you if you’re choking. Then again, if you are like my ex you might want to see them choke. (Again, different blog.)