Aubrey-fiction

Aubrey sat there and felt dead inside. That was the only way to describe it. Empty and dead. It was appropriate. All she could think about was the people she’d lost and buried years ago. She felt as dead as they were. It had only been ten years since she buried them. Amazing how time didn’t cure all wounds. It was a lie. How many times had people patted her hand or back and quietly said that time heals all wounds? She wished she could go back in time and tell them to quit lying.

It was Saturday night. Most people her age were either out celebrating life or enjoying their families. She was home alone. Well, she wasn’t completely alone. Her two cats were there with her. Luna and Bella kept her company when no one else would. They were her confidantes, her therapists, her friends.

At first she couldn’t figure out why today was so sentimental. Finally it dawned on her. Another anniversary. It seemed like every day was an anniversary of something. Every day was a reminder of lost loved ones. Typically she could numb herself in some way. Medications worked sometimes. Alcohol worked. Sometimes throwing herself into projects numbed her brain and body. Today was a day where a cocktail was needed. A little Xanax taken with a shot of tequila. She would feel better soon. And if not, hopefully she would just fall asleep.

The TV was on. She tried watching but there was nothing on that caught her mind, attention or heart. She just kept replaying conversations, moments, and just things that hurt. She wanted to turn the movies in her head off and focus on the TV. If only it was that easy. Her therapist had worked with her on techniques. Nothing was working. She wanted to scream. It would scare the cats. Instead she nestled deeper into the covers of the bed and pulled them around her. She left the TV on and lay there crying. She tried to not make too much noise. She didn’t want to scare the cats.

 (This is part of the creative writing/fiction that I am working on.)

I’m Thinking of Getting Roku

English: Photograph of Roku XDS player with remote. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

I don’t have cable. I know. People are freaked out. You don’t have cable? How do you watch tv? Well, I don’t. And I have this honking tv just sitting there. And I am getting tired of being tied to the computer to watch things. And yes, I watch stuff all the time! Hulu is awesome. So there is this thing called Roku and you can get it and basically use it wirelessly and use your tv. I’m considering getting it so that I am not tied down to watching things on the computer.

So if anybody reading this has Roku, what is  your experience with it? Like it? Let me know! I’m ready to buy!

Why Do I Watch Things That Make Me Cry?

Image via Wikipedia

Certain movies or tv shows are just gonna make me cry. I have “my” movies that I watch from time to time that just cut me to the core. “Hope Floats,” “P.S. I Love You,” “The Notebook.” These are the heart wrenching movies that get me each and every time. I know I am going to cry when I watch them. The tv series “Friday Night Lights” nearly killed me. I don’t cry as intensely with the tv show as with the movies, but the different episodes would pull my heart-strings so hard that tears would emerge at times that I would be stunned. I knew it was a great show, but wow! It was really a great show!

So why do I do this? I KNOW  I am going to cry when I watch. I prepare myself with tissues and lots of water so I can rehydrate. Maybe I watch them when I need to just release some emotional tension that I can’t otherwise let go. But why do I need to cry? Why do I need something that is so emotionally charged? I love to watch them but I can’t watch them too often. I’d be an emotional mess all the time if I watched them more often than I do!

I ask why I do it, but I do think I have an idea. I think I like watching someone overcome struggles and find happiness. I know these are scripted. Maybe it would be better if life was. Hmmm…now there’s a thought. I want to believe there are people who overcome hardship and find happiness. I always root for the underdog. I guess most people do.

So does anyone else do this? Surely they do! Right?

Related articles

• Even more crying. (inmychest.wordpress.com)
• CONFESSION: I Am a Crier. (weddingbee.com)

Southern Movies and TV Shows

Do you ever watch movies and tv shows specifically about the South? When I do I can’t help but listen closely to the accents and see how real they sound. Some of them make me roll my eyes so far back in my head that I wonder if they’ll get stuck. And it is like I am drawn to those shows and movies. I can’t help it. I think it is because I would love for something to finally accurately portray life in the South.

The Real Housewives of Atlanta do NOT represent real life in the South. So please don’t ever think that. Southern women can be mean as snakes but they typically aren’t as brash and loud about it. We don’t wear 50s style clothing and smile like a Stepford wife, but we sure can get our point across. Bless your heart for thinking otherwise!

I think some examples of movies that I think of as Southern movies are Steel Magnolias, Hope Floats, and Sweet Home Alabama. Now the women of Steel Magnolias are true Southern women! The accents may not have been great, but they had the attitude of real Southern women. I was actually kinda surprised that Julia Roberts’ accent was worse than some of the other actresses, especially considering she was raised in Georgia.

Sandra Bullock in Hope Floats was the epitome of a Southern woman. She had a real accent that wasn’t over the top and was just right. I think she lived in Virginia for a while. That might have been quite helpful. I loved her character.

I think Reese Witherspoon is adorable but she got a little twangy in Sweet Home Alabama. But I will say that the scene where she punched Candice Bergen and said, “Nobody talks to my Mama like that!” was perfect! Just about any Southern girl who was raised right would do that. I also liked the references to the state of Alabama in the movie. People who aren’t from Alabama wouldn’t get them, but Alabamians (yes, I’m from there) got them. The dog’s name, Bryant, was after Paul “Bear” Bryant. There is really a motel down in South Alabama called the Golden Cherry Motel. (My ex-husband had a friend whose uncle owned it.)

I’ve just started watching Hart of Dixie and some of the accents make me gag. I also don’t like how they portray the majority of Southern women as simpering twits. We’re not. We may speak slower but we aren’t stupid. I do like that they show Southern hospitality but we aren’t all up each other’s butts. (well, most of the time anyway.)

I guess the my point is, when you watch the shows with Southern characters take it with a grain of salt. Some of those accents might not be real and most likely the characters don’t represent true Southerners. Laugh at the art but not at the real people.

What Ever Happened To Chuck Cunningham?

Remember Happy Days? When the show first started there were 3 Cunningham kids. After a while there was only Richie and Joanie. So what happened to good ol’ Chuck? He just disappeared. Then Fonzie was like their 3rd child.

Don’t you hate when tv shows do stuff without saying what happened? Another show that recently did that was The New Girl. One of the Wayans brothers was on there and I thought he was gonna be great! Then suddenly he is gone. Poof! No reason. He shows up on another show that really sucks.

I’m trying to think of another show this has happened on. Oh! I know! The Cosby Show started out with no Sondra and suddenly there she was. Then when Lisa Bonet misbehaved in real life, she was shipped off to Africa with no real reason. Now you know Cliff and Clair would NOT have gone for that!

And the youngest sister, Judy, on Family Matters…For such a close-knit and large family, what happened?! Carl was on the police force. Shouldn’t he have known his own kid was missing? Then again he had his mother, sister-in-law, nephew and too often neighbor basically living there. I still don’t know how you lose your kid, though. Maybe she was a family member who didn’t matter so much? I dunno.

Another thing I remember is on the Brady Bunch they had that dog, Tiger. Remember Jan was allergic to some sort of powder for him? We thought we were going to have to get rid of him and wow! Then after a while no more Tiger. Did he die or what?