I had said before that this wasn’t the most wonderful time of the year. Well, it’s still not. People are still either yelling at me or expecting me to just feel so sorry for them that I will drop everything for them. It’s hard to deal with. I try to keep my real life quiet and limited to a few real friends. I mean, I could tell you a pity story from the beginning of my life that would have you sitting there in tears. I’m not going to, though. Why? Because I choose not to dwell on it. I choose to do my best to just move forward and do the best I can. Is it easy? NO! Life is hard. Life is painful. Life is not fair. Life hurts. Every day is a challenge. What do I do about that? Look for the best, try to laugh, cry, pray.
Here’s a few lessons I have learned. Don’t like the way people are treating you? Either get them out of your life or treat them differently. Something will change. Many times we teach them how to treat us. If we can’t get them out of our lives, then the way we react or act around them will change it up. You can’t change their behavior, but you can change yours. Don’t do things drastically. Start making small changes and watch how it works. But if you don’t make those changes, you are responsible for how you are being treated because you are asking to be treated that way. You may say you can’t help how they act and that is absolutely right, but you do have some power. Use it wisely.
Quit dwelling on things. Life sucks for everyone. If you think it doesn’t, look around. Most people could give you a sad story. If you don’t think so, ask someone else. Quit looking for that piece of negativity and try to find something positive! For example, I am single and alone. I spent the holidays alone and I worked. For most people that is really sad and pretty pathetic. I turned it around and worked an extra shift at work and allowed a coworker more time with her family. This gives me more money and her time off. It also put me in the good graces of my boss. I could have sat home alone and cried and whined. I chose not to.
This past week I have been yelled at because I haven’t catered to other people who thought their life was more important than mine. I have been told off. I have had to deal with all kinds of drama and BS that is completely out of my control. I have controlled what I could and walked away from the other. I can’t deal with it. If I tried, It would drive me insane. (It may already have and I just don’t know it!) My bottom line is try to move forward because if you don’t you are getting yourself stuck. If you need help learning how to do some of the above, go to therapy, take a DBT class and learn this stuff, learn from your mistakes, and move on. If you want to vent and bitch that is one thing, but when you want someone else to fix it, that is another.
Life is a choice. We all have our times for pity parties. I’m not going to lie. I have had huge ones. But there comes a point where you have to stop. I make my choices daily to try to have the best day possible. If you want to have a bad day, that is your choice, but I’m going to fight hard to not have one. I’ve had too many bad days in life. Way too many.
My other suggestion is to really pray and if you don’t know what to say, try this:
God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change,
The courage to change the things I can,
And the wisdom to know the difference.