Another Year…

Another year rolls around. It actually zipped by. I’m older. I wonder why we celebrate and then I suppose it is just the fact that it is all that is thrown at us in a year. We made it through it all! Wooohooo!!! Right? So I survived to make it to another age. Yeah! I’ll lie about my age, but I survived dammit! Just like I hide those gray hairs. I lie by covering them, but they’re still mine.

So today is my birthday. I celebrated last night and had a lot of fun with crazy friends. We didn’t do anything wild, but it was fun. I laughed like I hadn’t done in a long time and Lord knows I needed that. I need that more. That is my wish for the year…more laughter, less stress.

The day does bring somber thoughts, as well. Today is Mama’s birthday. My wish for her is that she is eating a big ol’ piece of cake with God and Daddy and laughing as well. Happy Birthday, Mama! I love you.

 

Letter to Mama

Dear Mama,

Today is that day. I guess you can call it your birthday in a way or your anniversary or something. You went home to God 16 years ago. While it was the most painful day of my life, I am grateful of where you are and who you’re with. I was thinking about it earlier in the week and realized you’ve been gone for a third of my life now. That threw me for a loop. How could I not see my Mama for a third of my life? That just baffles me.

I am not in the place in life I wanted to be. I hope you didn’t see all the chaos and drama that happened since you left. It took its toll for a while. I had to work hard to get life back on track. I think it’s almost there. Maybe. I finally did something you really wanted me to do; I finished college! Mama, I didn’t think I would ever finish but I did. It hurt that you weren’t here to talk to about it. That would have been the icing on the cake.

I miss you so much, Mama! I love you. I’ll see you and Daddy again. I just have some more living to do for now.  But I miss you both so much!

Love always,

Amy-Amy

Mother’s Day

What I would give to tell mine to have a happy Mother’s Day! I would love to hug her and kiss her cheek. I’d love to aggravate her and laugh with her and make her lunch. I hope that people who do have theirs realize how lucky they are. It’s a blessing. If you have your mother, don’t forget to tell her what she means to you.  And for those of your who don’t have your mother today, I hope you think of something that makes you smile and can reflect on that.

I haven’t been able to speak to mine since 1996 and that’s a long time. I miss her and our crazy times together. She was a good woman who owned a majority of my heart.

So to all the mamas, out there….HAPPY MOTHERS DAY!

I Realized I Am A Lot Like Mama

I realized today I am a lot like my Mama. That’s a good thing mostly. She was the best person I ever knew. I only ever heard her say one bad thing about a person and it was the truth. She wasn’t a saint, but she was kind-hearted and loving.

So what provoked this realization? My hair. I know that’s a weird one. It was for me, too. But I was sitting at work Last night and my hair was bothering me. It’s gotten too long and kept going under my shirt collar. I was ready to scream. I finally found a ponytail holder in my bag and pulled it back. Instant relief! That’s when it hit me. Years ago I would hear Mama talk about the same thing. I always encouraged her to grow her hair out. She would say, “I can’t, Amy! It bothers my neck.” I thought that was weird, but whatever! It was her hair. Now 15 years later I totally get it. It bothers mine, too. There’s this certain spot where when it hits that you are just ready to take the scissors and hack it off.

I smiled, though, at the thought of being like Mama. She was a good woman. I miss her daily. She passed away in 1996 and there hasn’t been a day since her death that I haven’t missed her. A thought of her can make my eyes fill with tears instantly. The picture for this post is really me with Mama when I was 3 and she was 27. So many moons ago. It’s my favorite picture of us. It summed up our relationship. I was always up to something and she just tried to ignore it. See? Mama was a good woman.

Mama’s Boys

Mama’s boys…where do we even start? A man that loves his mother and treats her with respect is a good thing. Let’s lay that out on the table. A man over the age of 25 who is still dependent on Mama for approval, money, shelter, clothing needs to cut those apron strings! Yeah, it’s easy to run to Mama for all the niceties of home, but how are you ever going to learn to be on your own? How are you ever going to learn to really do for yourself? You have to do this in order to be a functioning and successful adult. Mama ain’t gonna be there forever. And frankly, Mama’s Boys, Mama doesn’t like most of the women you’re going to like and Mama will destroy those relationships. And you’re going to turn a blind eye to it because Mama is perfect. And who is going to suffer? You.

So if you’re a Mama’s Boy, stop! It is sickening to see and you’re taking yourself off the market for at least 2/3 of the female population. Be kind and loving to Mama, but go to your own home and take care of yourself. You’ll be a lot happier in the long run.