survivingmiddleage

the ups and downs of life

Archive for the tag “life events”

The Funny Thing About Blogs

 

The funny thing about blog posts is that some people I know read them and assume they are targeted for one person or subject. Sometimes they are just because I know about something. Sometimes they are about someone I know. Sometimes it isn’t about the person that everyone assumes it is about. It’s funny.

A lot of the info here is directly from my life. I mean blogs are personal. Right? We draw on what we know. Life experience. But sometimes we draw on stuff we see or hear. So not everything has happened specifically to me. Thank God! Lord have mercy if it had. I’d be much more screwed up than I already am if it had. I’m already kinda crazy. :) (in a good way I think, well hope)

So, friends, don’t despair. It’s not all about you. It’s not even all about me. It’s just about life.

 

Moods

It’s funny how a mood can change so easily. Today my mood has swung like a pendulum. I wasn’t in a great one, then it got better, then it got worse. A lot of it has had to do with subject matter and people I have been dealing with. It’s made me think, though, that I would really like to not be so affected by external circumstances so much. I need to control my locus a little (lot) better! Life is going to happen no matter what. I want to laugh about it rather than be pissed off. I want to not let it bother me. If people say or do things that hurt my feelings, I want to say, “That was hurtful” and then just move on! I don’t want it to bother me and be a part of my life. I don’t want it dwelling in my head like it should take residence! No. Move on!

All of this because of stupid events and people in a stupid day. That’s a lot of critical thinking. Whew! My head hurts. So internal locus, external locus…hocus pocus. I have to delve into this a little further. It’s very interesting. It does seem to decide how people and things affect me and how I react. Maybe if I can work on this then I can change other things? Who knows. I guess we shall see.

For now, I need something for a raging headache. Too much information for my poor brain to handle now.

Hope Floats

Hope Floats: Music from the Motion Picture

Hope Floats: Music from the Motion Picture (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Have you got that one go-to movie that you always watch when you just want something to watch but aren’t sure what? I do. It’s kind of poignant, sappy, sweet and very hopeful. Actually, it is “Hope Floats.” There are a couple of scenes that just make me cry like a baby. But there are a few scenes that make me smile and wish and wonder if some things are actually true. I know life isn’t exactly like the movies, but sometimes I sure wish it was. Then again, sometimes I am grateful it isn’t.

There is something about this movie, though, that catches my heart each and every time. The main male character reminds me of someone from my past who had a piece of my heart so big that I didn’t know what to do with it when he was no longer a part of my life.  Harry Connick, Jr. has a way of looking up and giving a sweet smile that makes me catch my breath and think. It takes me back to a moment in time every time I see that look.

I also love the vulnerable insecurity of Birdee, the main character played by Sandra Bullock. I love Sandra Bullock anyway. But she pulled off sweet, vulnerable, and insecure so beautifully and realistically. She said so many wonderful lines during the movie that made me really think.

Here’s some of my favorite lines:

Birdee: “Childhood is what you spend the rest of your life trying to overcome. That’s what momma always says. She says that beginnings are scary, endings are usually sad, but it’s the middle that counts the most. Try to remember that when you find yourself at a new beginning. Just give hope a chance to float up. And it will, too… “

Conversation between Birdee and her soon-to-be-ex-husband:

Birdee Pruitt: I would have stayed with you forever. I would have turned myself inside out for you.
Bill Pruitt: Birdee, I wouldn’t have let you! People grow. They change. They have to!
Birdee Pruitt: You think that I don’t know that? I know that I’m not what I once was. I know that! But I haven’t changed so much, that I would go and lie to someone that I love. God, I would walk through fire before I’d let them feel like they were nothing! And I would never break up anybody’s home. Because I am not a quitter. I care about my family! I may not be the same person, but then again, neither are you. You’re sad, you’re weak, and you’re… shorter. If you want to know the truth.

Justin Matisse: “Dancing’s just a conversation between two people. Talk to me.”

Birdie and her Mama talking about her soon-to-be-ex-husband:

Birdee Pruitt: You just never liked Bill.
Ramona Calvert: Oh, I like all of God’s creatures; I just like some of them better stuffed. And he’s one of them.

 

I know life isn’t always like the movies. But there are times when it is. I miss the times when I had a Justin Matisse. Sometimes this movie does give me hope. I suppose hope really does float.

So what is your go-to favorite movie?

 

Love

Marriage

Marriage (Photo credit: Lel4nd)

Love is something I wonder about. Today is a very appropriate day for it. Today would be my wedding anniversary. Maybe it still is? I’m not sure since I’m divorced. Seventeen years ago I married a man I should never have married. I cared about him, but looking back I see it wasn’t the love that should make you say those binding words. I aimed to please, though, and I was doing what was expected. Had he not made the decision to end the marriage, I would probably still be married to him. That’s just who I am. I take a vow like that seriously. I said “until death do us part” and I really meant it.

I have been in a very serious relationship since my marriage. I was actually going to get married to someone else. That ended painfully. All this led me to wonder if I will love again. Can I? Can someone love me? I am not sure. I think I am at a point now, though, where I just don’t want to deal with it. I shake my head at that thought because I never thought I would think something like that. But a part of me just wants to focus on other aspects of my life and not put time and effort into looking and/or pining over someone. All of that takes a lot of time and energy. I just don’t know that I have enough for that pursuit.

I suppose if love is going to enter my life then God needs to bring him to me. I’m not looking.

I Did Not Win $600 Million

Imagine that! I didn’t win $600 million. But I did win $150. :) So something is better than nothing. Right?

But I wonder who the winner is. What are they gonna do with that money? Are they really poor and really need that money? Are they going to help others? I can’t wait to know the story. I loved hearing all the stories of people buying tickets. So many people knew it was really a long shot but yet we all just wanted to buy a chance at a dream. Hoping and praying for a life changing moment.

It was exhilarating! And I think that is what most of us want…a chance at a dream.

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