Most of my life I have felt judged. I didn’t look good enough. I wasn’t smart enough. I didn’t have enough money. I wasn’t thin enough. I didn’t do everything right. I didn’t say everything right. I wasn’t talented enough. Nothing was ENOUGH! And there were lots of people around to let me know that I was absolutely right! I was never going to be enough. No matter how much I tried, they didn’t think my efforts were going to be enough.
Finally in adulthood I was like, “What am I doing? Why am I trying so hard?! Why does it matter?” Know what? Personally, it doesn’t! I got tired of being a people-pleaser. It wasn’t pleasing me. I wasn’t be myself really. I wasn’t happy when others were still not satisfied. I felt frustrated. And I was still constantly judged. Who do I need to please? Myself and God. If I can live with myself daily and I can live with my relationship with God, I think I am good. I can always do better in life. That is a given. Who couldn’t? But I don’t have to ask others to be ok with who I am. You like me or not. I’m too old to play games and I am too old to care what you think. I am over it. I will always strive to do better in life, but it will be for personal edification and not to please others.
Recently I was reading a post on Facebook about one person posting about how someone might not be a Christian because of their posts. I like this person. But that bothered me. What if someone was having a bad day and said something with “curse” words in it? Does that make them not a Christian? I don’t think so. Which words are off-limits? Is it ok to talk about drinking but not cussing? I mean, where is the line on this? It really bothered me. If you’re friends with someone, be friends with them and accept them. Their Christianity is their own to deal with. It is not your responsibility.
Personally, I know I cuss too much. I know it. I have talked to God about it. I cuss so I don’t explode. But I guess what I don’t get it is if you don’t agree with someone, then stop being their friend and stop judging them. Do any of us have a right to judge someone else? I don’t know what you deal with. If you heard some of the crap I deal with you might be like, “How does she not snap?!” I cuss too much. I deal with a lot of stress and I feel like my head would blow off if I didn’t let that steam out in some way. Some days I can curtail my mouth and some days I can’t. Some days after you have been told what a terrible human you are and how awful you are and you can’t say anything back to someone, you wait until you are away from the person and then let a stream come out that sometimes turns blue to prevent your head from exploding.
Matthew 7:3-5: 3 Why do you look at the speck that is in your brother’s eye, but do not notice the log that is in your own eye? 4 Or how can you say to your brother, ‘Let me take the speck out of your eye,’ and behold, the log is in your own eye? 5 You hypocrite, first take the log out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to take the speck out of your brother’s eye.
Yeah, that was Jesus talking. So if He is saying to not judge, maybe we as mere mortals need to take the advice. It’s hard. We’re always going to judge in some fashion. It’s human nature. We do it so well. But most of us don’t like being judged and so most of us need to quit judging. If you want to influence others, a more positive approach is to lead by example. Showing a positive example is the best way to live I think. (I’m trying to cut back on the cussing and deal with stress more positively. So far I haven’t done so well, but I keep trying!)
- Judge Not – What does it really mean? (christianitymatters.com)
- Question: How To Judge People Without Alienating Them (Spoiler: You Can’t) (jsparkblog.com)
- “Why are Christians so judgmental?” (altruistico.wordpress.com)
- Matthew Chapter 7 Verses One through five (redeemedbythe1.wordpress.com)
- Don’t Judge That? – Unscrambling Judgment – Part 5 (anotherredletterday.com)
- “if you judge people, you have no time to love them” (lindsayleighbentley.com)