survivingmiddleage

the ups and downs of life

Archive for the tag “Cost-benefit analysis”

Cost Benefit Analysis of a Relationship

Someone asked me what I thought about ending relationships. My thought is that it isn’t easy to do and should be considered carefully. So we discussed it further and I explained how I felt a relationship is an investment. You invest your feelings, time, energy, heart and soul in some relationships.

Now if you are married, I don’t suggest just getting a divorce. I don’t believe in that. But if the relationship is prior to marriage or is a friendship, I suggest the cost benefit analysis method. Look at the whole relationship. How much are you putting in? What is it costing you? Is that cost something you are comfortable with? Next you need to look at what your return is. What are you getting back? Do you feel like the other person is as invested in you as you are them? Are you comfortable with that? Once you’ve broken it down and analyzed it, then make a decision. Stay or go? Is this relationship worth it? Unfortunately, not all are. Some you have to let go and move on. And it hurts. And some you realize you aren’t putting enough effort in. Maybe you’ll get more out if you put more in. What is beneficial to you?

Bottom line, relationships are huge investments. We pour ourselves into them. We need to feel like we’re getting something back. If you’re not, then something needs to change. And you’re the only one who can figure out what that change needs to be.

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