Mixed feelings
I’m close to finishing school. A week and a half to be exact. I’m not feeling happy or excited really. Well I suppose there’s something similar to that. But I feel more melancholy. That feels and sounds weird. I’ve worked hard. You’d think I’d be giddy. No. I’m sad and a little depressed. After all this hard work there’s nobody to share the achievement with. It feels kind of hollow.
I am also feeling loss. I know that sounds odd as well. But for the last two years school has been my refuge. Life sucked. So I could hide by studying. I could shut down emotionally. I am realizing I won’t have my security blanket of school any longer. That’s scary. I could go to grad school but I’m not ready for that. So weighing my options of emotions or more school, I suppose it’s emotions. And that is a horrible thought.
I complain about never having free time. But honestly do I want free time? That just gives more time to deal with unwanted emotion or the loss I feel of no school or whatever else. I might try to escape. Then again it might give me more time to write or paint. Or clean house!
Clean house? Riiiight!! Seriously, congratulations on a hard job completed!! very cool!
Thanks. Yeah, I may actually clean house. I promise the cats that eventually we will have a clean house. We are all tired of the messy house.
I think I’m going to do some major house cleaning next week too. I’ve got a couple days off during the middle of the week with absolutely no appointments on either day!! Woohoo!!
I am cleaning this weekend! No phones. No work. No nothing. Me, 2 bratty girls, music, and CLEANING! I can’t wait to have a clean house again!
Congratulations! I tend to fill my days with too much stuff to avoid thinking or feeling too much, so I relate to this post very well. My coach is always telling me to slow down and think things through. Sometimes I do, and sometimes it’s too painful and can drag me down into a black hole.
Cleaning house is one of my busy things, but I like yard work more.
Good luck in whatever you decide to do!
-DJ
I go between thinking too much and just zoning out too much. I think sometimes we just have to do mindless, busy tasks to keep us moving. It helps. Eventually your mind and body will synch up and something will click.
I’m hoping soon to have it fall together. It might not work perfectly, but maybe it will be better. 
Thanks for the well wishes! I need all I can get.