Mixed feelings

I’m close to finishing school. A week and a half to be exact. I’m not feeling happy or excited really. Well I suppose there’s something similar to that. But I feel more melancholy. That feels and sounds weird. I’ve worked hard. You’d think I’d  be giddy. No. I’m sad and a little depressed. After all this hard work there’s nobody to share the achievement with. It feels kind of hollow.

I am also feeling loss. I know that sounds odd as well. But for the last two years school has been my refuge. Life sucked. So I could hide by studying. I could shut down emotionally. I am realizing I won’t have my security blanket of school any longer. That’s scary. I could go to grad school but I’m not ready for that. So weighing my options of emotions or more school, I suppose it’s emotions. And that is a horrible  thought.

I complain about never having free time. But honestly do I want free time? That just gives more time to deal with unwanted emotion or the loss I feel of no school or whatever else.  I might try to escape. Then again it might give me more time to write or paint. Or clean house!

Busy?

It amazes me at how busy I am and yet how little I accomplish. There are days I feel like I spin in circles and I am like surely I have gotten a million things done! I start to review and realize I really didn’t accomplish anything. Well, I did. I usually have given myself a headache or my stomach is a little upset. But nothing really productive seems to have happened. How is that possible?!

I’ve been trying to look at what all I need to do and then how I have been doing the tasks. Obviously something isn’t right. I guess big business would call it something like task analysis. I gotta figure out a better way to get things done! I gotta be more productive and not end up so frustrated! There are days when I feel like a rat on one of those wheels. I’m running and running and getting nowhere.

Ever felt that way? What did you do?

My cats

Anyone who knows me knows that my cats rule our house. I think this is pretty much the norm for most people who live with cats. You might notice I did not say own cats. Cats are too hoity toity to be owned. They allow you to be in their presence from time to time.

I’m finding not all are like this but the majority are. My darling Soleil will climb in your lap and snuggle for long periods. My funny girl Chloe acts like you’re trying to kill her most times.

Both of them understand when I tell them not to do something. Maybe it’s my tone. Maybe they’ve learned what the word “no” means.  The picture above really made me laugh out loud. I pictured Chloe saying that the second I left for work. I love my bratty girl and know her personality all too well. She’s kinda like her Mama.

Mother’s Day

What I would give to tell mine to have a happy Mother’s Day! I would love to hug her and kiss her cheek. I’d love to aggravate her and laugh with her and make her lunch. I hope that people who do have theirs realize how lucky they are. It’s a blessing. If you have your mother, don’t forget to tell her what she means to you.  And for those of your who don’t have your mother today, I hope you think of something that makes you smile and can reflect on that.

I haven’t been able to speak to mine since 1996 and that’s a long time. I miss her and our crazy times together. She was a good woman who owned a majority of my heart.

So to all the mamas, out there….HAPPY MOTHERS DAY!

Twitter anyone?

Twitter (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

I feel kinda weird using Twitter. I feel like I have Tourette’s via my computer. What? I had a thought and I need to announce it to the world? OK. Are my thoughts worth tweeting? And if I’m tweeting does that make me a twit? 

I think Kirstie Alley’s randomness is great on Twitter and I love it. She’s just funny as all get out and I love her. I remember watching her show when they had an intervention about her addiction. She’s a mess. (That’s a GOOD thing!) I wish my tweeting was good like that. It’s not. Mine falls flat. Maybe I’m just too boring to tweet. I have been pretty dull lately.

If anyone has any helpful tips on Twitter, pass them on to me. I’m frustrated.