I’m close to finishing school. A week and a half to be exact. I’m not feeling happy or excited really. Well I suppose there’s something similar to that. But I feel more melancholy. That feels and sounds weird. I’ve worked hard. You’d think I’d be giddy. No. I’m sad and a little depressed. After all this hard work there’s nobody to share the achievement with. It feels kind of hollow.
I am also feeling loss. I know that sounds odd as well. But for the last two years school has been my refuge. Life sucked. So I could hide by studying. I could shut down emotionally. I am realizing I won’t have my security blanket of school any longer. That’s scary. I could go to grad school but I’m not ready for that. So weighing my options of emotions or more school, I suppose it’s emotions. And that is a horrible thought.
I complain about never having free time. But honestly do I want free time? That just gives more time to deal with unwanted emotion or the loss I feel of no school or whatever else. I might try to escape. Then again it might give me more time to write or paint. Or clean house!