Insight For The Men Into Women
So some of my male friends want to be clued in on women. So here’s my thoughts. First, all women are different and we are not going to all like the same thing. But many of us do want the same things and expect the same things and NEED the same things. So men, if you’re interested, I’m helping you out by breaking the woman code. Take notes.
- Be yourself. When you’re fake it will come out eventually. Being fake equals lying. Women do not like liars.
- If you are not interested in a woman, don’t lead her on by continuing to date her. Most women do want a long-term relationship and by continuing to stay involved with a woman when you know for a fact it’s not long-term is basically lying. (See #1)
- Don’t give all these stupid come-on lines. They’re annoying and make you look like a jerk.
- If you are interested in a woman, listen to her. Ask her questions. Then use this information! Example: If she says she loves white roses, send them to her just because. I had this happen once and it was the sweetest and most romantic gesture I had ever experienced. It told me that he really listened to what I said and he cared enough to use that information on a day that was crappy. He turned my whole day around with that gesture and made me cry happy tears. (BTW, a woman crying happy tears is a GREAT thing!)
- Don’t boast. It just proves how insecure you really are. We are all insecure but most women don’t want to hear a man bragging about this or that. It’s a major turn-off and you can easily get yourself put on the do-not-call list by doing so.
- Be vulnerable. Now, when I say this I do not mean be a crybaby because most women don’t like that either. Personally I can’t stand crybabies even though I am one. (And yes, understand that a woman can be contradictory and it is fine and quite acceptable.) But if you are watching The Notebook and feel yourself choking up, don’t mask it by joking about how stupid it is. Go with it! She’s going to love that a romantic movie can move you, too.
- Honesty. This is a tricky one. It’s important to be honest, but sometimes there is such a thing as too much honesty. If she asks, “How do I look?” and you think she has on too much make-up don’t say something like, “I didn’t know the circus was in town or that you had a 2nd job as a clown.” That will get you slapped. And guess what you won’t be getting. Think about it. Sometimes you need to use a filter.
- Speaking of filters, they’re also good when you feel like talking about every woman who you have ever dated or who has ever done you wrong. Guess what. She’s not her. She doesn’t want to be compared to the past. If you are speaking to her about the past then most likely you are still thinking about that other person and there are still feelings involved. It’s ok to learn from the past. You have to. But when you drive it into the ground with the person that you’re with, you’re going to drive her away.
- If your mother is still alive and you’re in a relationship, do not pit the two of them against each other. You are asking for trouble. Mothers are wonderful but there are some that are overbearing and meddlesome and most women are wary. My ex-mother in law meddled in my marriage constantly. She felt she could say whatever she thought about me and my life and it was ok. It was not ok. I had a mother and do not need or want some hateful woman getting in my business. If your mother doesn’t like your romantic interest you need to make a decision. Do you care enough about this romance to continue? If so, tell mom to butt out! Otherwise she will continue to be in it and it will cause major issues. Believe me. Been there. Done that. And told my ex-mother in law where to go and how to get there and offered to draw a map. She didn’t like me too much. Imagine that.
- If you are involved in a romantic liaison, make sure that everyone she encounters is respectful. Sometimes your friends may not like her and they make it clear that they don’t. Do you think she is going to want to hang out with them if they do that? No. She will do everything in her power to avoid them at all costs. She may not try to destroy your relationship with those friends, but it will affect one of the relationships. Decide early on how you want to deal with it.
- Quit living in the past and live in the present. She wants to know that you enjoy her and are possibly thinking of a future. If you’re not, move on. Don’t waste either person’s time. If you’re too busy talking about “back in the day” then you’re not looking at the future. She wants that.
- Don’t whine! Women want you to share but if you whine about any and everything you are going to run her off. She doesn’t want to hear how you don’t like this or that constantly.