Some Days
Some days I look at my life and wish I had done so many things differently. Would life be better? Would it be easier? My choices haven’t always been great but I can’t really help that now, can I? I can only try to do better. But there are some days when I wonder if the things I am doing now will make things better eventually. I work a crazy job on a crazy shift. I am living in a place where I feel safe but it is super expensive. I am going back to school in a couple of weeks and am scared. (I had to take a break from school because of my break-up that devastated me for a while.)
I am trying hard to just survive and some days I feel like it isn’t good enough. Some days I just want to scream and cry instead of dealing with everything. Some days I wish there was someone to hold my hand and help me through things rather than feeling as if I have always been alone. Some days I really hate the decisions I have made and wonder “what if” way too many times. Some days I just want to go to bed and let the world pass me by. But then again some days I want to kick fate’s ass and tell it that it will not control me. Some days I feel like I can overcome and not take crap.
Maybe in the future I will look back at these “some days” and see how they have helped me. Some day…
I also look back and wonder how my life would be had I made different choices…I wonder if most people do this at some time in their lives? I was shocked when someone I work with told me her life was exactly like she imagined it would be…I think our feelings are probably more common than hers..altho it would be nice to feel that way…maybe…good luck with your return to school!!
I’m glad to know I’m not alone!
I wonder if your friend is telling the truth. I hope so because it would be nice to know someone’s life turned out the way they wanted. I wanted so many things by this point in life. Losing both my parents and going through a divorce by the time I hit 30 definitely took its toll. But I’m working to make life better. Thanks for the well wishes for school. I only have 6 more classes til my degree! I’m excited!!