Some days I look at my life and wish I had done so many things differently. Would life be better? Would it be easier? My choices haven’t always been great but I can’t really help that now, can I? I can only try to do better. But there are some days when I wonder if the things I am doing now will make things better eventually. I work a crazy job on a crazy shift. I am living in a place where I feel safe but it is super expensive. I am going back to school in a couple of weeks and am scared. (I had to take a break from school because of my break-up that devastated me for a while.)
I am trying hard to just survive and some days I feel like it isn’t good enough. Some days I just want to scream and cry instead of dealing with everything. Some days I wish there was someone to hold my hand and help me through things rather than feeling as if I have always been alone. Some days I really hate the decisions I have made and wonder “what if” way too many times. Some days I just want to go to bed and let the world pass me by. But then again some days I want to kick fate’s ass and tell it that it will not control me. Some days I feel like I can overcome and not take crap.
Maybe in the future I will look back at these “some days” and see how they have helped me. Some day…