Men and Breakups
A friend and I were talking about our recent breakups. We talked about what happened and the surprise, hurt, and anger. It was interesting that ours was so similar. But it wasn’t too surprising. Our now exes are friends. So either they conspired together on how to throw away years away or what they did could be a “man thing.”
I suppose you are wondering what happened. Well, at first there was distance. When we tried to open up to them and discuss the silence and issues. Silence. Then arguing and yelling. Recriminations. Accusations. The men began saying we were controlling or pushing. We were actually just trying to figure out what the hell was going on. We aren’t mind readers and the “Magic 8 Ball” wasn’t working. So how else do you get information without asking questions? So instead of answering the questions, the fighting escalated and the men said we were driving them away. Sorry, that shit don’t fly. I didn’t ask to be called names when he got angry. I didn’t ask for the holes in the walls because he decided to show his ass rather than his emotions. I asked for answers. I asked for love. I asked for attention. After years in a relationship I don’t think that is too much to ask for.
So what I want to know is why he felt the need to turn it around on me? Why couldn’t he man up and just answer questions? It isn’t too hard to do. Instead I was left with questions and tears. I’m finally past the tears but I still have the questions. At this point, the answers don’t matter. But it still makes me wonder why so many (not all) men do that. Why do they turn the tables? Why do they run? If something is bothering you, running isn’t going to solve it. There was a lot better way to leave than cowardly running away when someone’s back was turned.
I guess I wonder if this is just a guy thing or what. I think it is a really shitty thing to do someone you claimed to love at one point. Everyone deserves to be treated with respect and leaving that way is enormously disrespectful. I do believe karma will come back to them, but who knows when?