Life Lessons from Watching “House”

I have been watching “House” lately. I have actually been addicted to it. Dr. Gregory House may be a cynic but he is pretty smart. One episode really struck a chord with me. It was about how bad things happen to some people even when they do the right thing. He was questioning why that happens. I do that so often, too. I don’t want to but it seems as if many good people I know are getting such horrible things thrown at them. They try to do the right things. They’re good people. So what is up?

I can’t believe that these people have been so terrible in their past lives that it is coming back to them. I have known these people a long time…some all my life. Yet rather than be rewarded for their goodness, they have basically been slapped over and over for it.

In season 6 of House, he is faced with life and death and God. Over and over he states he doesn’t believe in God. But there are so many things pointing to the validity of God. He fights himself constantly because of this. It turns out that his biological father became a Christian minister at some point in his life. All of these things make House wonder about who he is. He is well-known in the medical community and has money but the thing that tortures him is the hardness that has taken over who he is. Doctors are supposed to remain impartial and unbiased, but they still have feelings. House is blunt and often sarcastic to his patients. In the season 6 finale he actually attributed the cynicism to his leg injury. It made him doubt. He wasn’t healed when that was his life’s work. He felt unloved and empty. Was it because of how he treated people? He was trying to figure it all out. And, yes, I realize this is a tv show but many times art mimics reality. (Yes, tv is art.)

So do many of us wonder about these things? Do many of us want to know what is making us unhappy? I think so. I think we wonder why “bad things happen to good people”. Do you wonder what is making your life the way it is? Is it fate? God? Karma? What?

Men and Breakups

A friend and I were talking about our recent breakups. We talked about what happened and the surprise, hurt, and anger. It was interesting that ours was so similar. But it wasn’t too surprising. Our now exes are friends. So either they conspired together on how to throw away years away or what they did could be a “man thing.”

I suppose you are wondering what happened. Well, at first there was distance. When we tried to open up to them and discuss the silence and issues. Silence. Then arguing and yelling. Recriminations. Accusations. The men began  saying we were controlling or pushing. We were actually just trying to figure out what the hell was going on. We aren’t mind readers and the “Magic 8 Ball” wasn’t working. So how else do you get information without asking questions? So instead of answering the questions, the fighting escalated and the men said we were driving them away. Sorry, that shit don’t fly. I didn’t ask to be called names when he got angry. I didn’t ask for the holes in the walls because he decided to show his ass rather than his emotions. I asked for answers. I asked for love. I asked for attention. After years in a relationship I don’t think that is too much to ask for.

So what I want to know is why he felt the need to turn it around on me? Why couldn’t he man up and just answer questions? It isn’t too hard to do. Instead I was left with questions and tears. I’m finally past the tears but I still have the questions. At this point, the answers don’t matter. But it still makes me wonder why so many (not all) men do that. Why do they turn the tables? Why do they run? If something is bothering you, running isn’t going to solve it. There was a lot better way to leave than cowardly running away when someone’s back was turned.

I guess I wonder if this is just a guy thing or what. I think it is a really shitty thing to do someone you claimed to love at one point. Everyone deserves to be treated with respect and leaving that way is  enormously disrespectful. I do believe karma will come back to them, but who knows when?