survivingmiddleage

the ups and downs of life

What Constitutes Cheating?

A friend of mine found out that her fiance was chatting with someone online a lot. He had left his computer ID up and she was going to check something in her email account but when she typed in the same email provider address they used, his email was there and so were the messages. She wasn’t looking for the information, but there it was. A lot of messages. She read them. Who wouldn’t? She wanted to know. She had to know. The emails weren’t sexual. But what hurt was that whenever she tried to get her fiance to open up to her he refused. But here he was opening up to some stranger through the computer. He was giving someone else important things. He was sharing things he refused to share with her. She missed him talking to her. She missed that intimacy. Now here he was giving that intimacy to someone else.

She is hurt. And she confronted him. At first he got angry and said she shouldn’t have gone through his email. She told him it was just there and that she saw something that she felt shouldn’t be there. He yelled, called her names and then punched a hole in the wall.

My friend still hurts. But the thing is some people have said that she overreacted. He wasn’t actually screwing around. Others stated that he was cheating because he was giving someone else intimate portions of his mind and heart, which is cheating. So who is right? Was it cheating? Was it not cheating?

Trust is now a factor because now she wonders if everytime he has a problem, is he going to run to someone else rather than speak to her? Cheating brings up the same question…when something goes wrong is that person going to run?

So what do you think? Is what he did cheating? Why?

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