survivingmiddleage

the ups and downs of life

a good day went bad

Wednesday morning seemed ok. I was going to the doctor to get some prescription refills. Nothing big. I had just gotten off work. Yeah, I work 3rd shift. So my day is probably the opposite of yours. You’re beginning your day as I’m ending mine. So I’m heading out. I hear a squeal, a pop and then smell this funky smell. Not good. Then the power steering goes out. Great. So I get the car back home. I call the doctor’s office and they want to know “Do you want to reschedule?” I wanted to scream, “Can I finish my crisis first, please!?” I know they’re doing their job but gimme a break. I had just told them what happened. So I call the shop down the road. I am not sure if I can make it that far. So I get it there. At first it doesn’t appear that bad…a serpentine belt. OK…we can handle that. Oh now…there was more…the a/c compressor. Let’s just say that is NOT good. I nearly threw up. Can you say BIG MONEY? Well, the car shop could and did. And I’m crying and they’re like “Well…” They seemed to have no sympathy whatsoever. I just wanted to kick the man and the car. I didn’t. I told them to please fix it and asked them to take me home. I should be asleep right now. I have no idea how I am getting to work tonight.

Since my last writing, my significant other has become non-existent. I missed having that person to cry to today. I missed him. And I hated myself for missing him. For some reason he and my mother were the only 2 people to ever really make me believe things would be ok somehow. The world could be crashing down and if they said it would be ok then I believed it. I miss that. I miss when I am upset that I have no one to hug me.

But I do have God. And that is exactly why this happened. I know that sounds weird to say. But the fact is that I had a great God day yesterday. And Satan had to try to ruin it so he stepped in and did something horrible. Something to try to distract me and hurt me and pull me from God. Well, as upset as I am, it still doesn’t take away what God did yesterday and will do further today and will do tomorrow. So Satan, go on…you ain’t gonna take my joy. Yeah, I am upset at this moment, but the fact is God is good and I see Him doing great things. I know God is working in the lives of those I love. I rebuke you, Satan. Got it?!

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